Raising daughters

Raising kids is hard work.

Some parents say it’s easier to raise boys than girls, or vice verse.

For me, my daughter was easier when she was little. Unlike my son who cried a lot as a baby and always wanted to be held, my daughter was happy and content. She didn’t cry when she was put to sleep or woke up like my son did. What a relief for me.

But as Andy and Amy got older, both are teenagers now, I found my girl is harder to raise than my boy.

Andy is more mellow in his personality. When I ask him to do something, he often says: “Yes, Mom.” It’s easier to talk him into doing something.

Amy, on the other hand, is very strong-willed. When I ask her to do something, she often says: “Wait!” or “Later!” which can take hours, or worse, nothing will be done. She has been butting heads with me more which is frustrating for me.

Yesterday I asked Amy to clean up her room and put stuff away before she left for a trip. She refused to do it and was upset because I didn’t give her iPad back for recharging as she wanted. She cried and cried, and then cried herself to sleep before lunch time.

After lunch, she did pick up her stuff, but did so with an attitude, an attitude she often displays when I ask her to do something.

“Why do I have to do it?”

“Why, I have already done it.”  

If obeying your parents means do it right away, do it completely and do it with a good attitude, it means my kids have a long way to go to become obedient and I have a lot to learn as a parent to teach them obedience.   

If it takes a village to raise a child, I am one of the many who influence her life.

I so want my daughter to grow into a godly woman.

Today I was reading the book “Selected Studies from Proverbs” by Charles Swindoll of the Insight for Living Ministry. The book is also available on CD.

In the chapter on “You and Your Daughter,” Charles Swindoll describes what a godly woman is using comparison and contrast from Proverbs –

The wise woman vs. the foolish woman

The wise woman is constructive instead of being destructive.  

The gracious woman vs. the contentious woman

The gracious woman is accepting, appreciative, thoughtful, considerate, kind, compassionate, and loving.

The  virtuous woman vs. the sensual woman

The  virtuous woman has character and integrity, is trustworthy, diligent, committed, prudent, generous, strong, capable, excellent, and efficient.

The godly woman vs. the indiscreet woman

The godly woman fears the Lord, cultivates an inner beauty that’s eternal and not external, and has a gentle spirit.  

As a parents, I need to help my daughter realize the value of being wise, develop in her a caring spirit, cultivate the skills of her hand, teach her how to handle money and open her eyes to the blessings of hard work.

As a parent, I often feel overwhelmed by the responsibilities in raising my kids and inadequate in my abilities to do the parenting job. I do have a lot to learn and grow.

In my next post, I will talk about raising boys and share the tips from the same book by Swindoll.