Last Friday my 10 year old girl Amy was invited to a birthday party by the daughter of a good friend of mine. A group of 6 girls went to Mall of America after school for fun rides and shopping.
Personally I don’t like to go to Mall of America. I haven’t been there for a few years. Shopping is not my way of spending time and money.
I have a deal with my kids. If they want to go to birthday parties, they need to pay themselves for birthday presents. When they want to go to birthday parties, they are happy to obey and pay out of their own pocket.
So my girl paid for the birthday present. She made a birthday card and included cash. We thought cash is better than a gift card. You can spend it anyway and anywhere you want.
Amy also took $10 of her own money with her to Mall of America.
When she came home at night, I was eager to find out whether and how she spent her money, since it was her first shopping trip without a family member.
“I didn’t spend any money.”
I was surprised by her self-control.
Then she told me that one of her friends brought $40. Everyone bought something – silly bandz, perfume, etc. Everyone urged her to buy something as well.
“I wanted to buy the fragrence too, but they ran out of the flavor I wanted. Then I didn’t feel like buying anything. When I wanted to buy something, I thought of you. I didn’t want to make you mad.”
The word mad was a little harsh to hear for me. I won’t be mad in this case, even though I might not like what she bought. She already has enough silly bandz, she got more in her goody bag. She doesn’t need perfume or other cosmetic products at this age.
Yes, mostly times I don’t approve my kids’ request of purchase, even when they are willing to pay themselves.
“Mom, can I buy this?”
“Do you really need it?” is my usual response.
I was very proud of my daughter for having self-control and not giving in for any peer pressure.
That is my girl.