See you later

A friend, whom I mentioned in my January 15 post, passed away on Jan. 16, following 8 months of battle with cancer. Her untimely death left me surprised and sad. In fact, the local Chinese community is grieving as the result of her death.

We met each other through some mutual friends and had partied together many times. Even though I don’t know her very well, her unexpected illness and death had an impact on me.

She passed away at such a young age. She was younger than me. She left her husband and two teen daughters.

I attended her memorial service on January 21 at Wulff Woodbury Funeral Home to pay her respect. It was a very moving and emotional service. The room was so packed that people had to stand in the lobby. In attendance were her family members, college classmates, coworkers, friends, friends and teachers of the family members.

There were no dry eyes left at the service.

While I grieved like everyone who knew her, I also found some comfort in knowing that my friend was baptized the day before she passed away. She is in a better place now.

Many of my friends in Woodbury are from China and are atheists like I was. I hope this tragic event has not only touched their hearts, but will also open their eyes and understanding to eternal life.

I believe there is life after death. Death is the beginning of a new life.

To my friend, I say: “Sorry to see you go. Rest in peace. See you later!”

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2012 – the Year of the Dragon

For most people, the New Year and the celebration were already behind them. But for Chinese, the New Year is just starting today.

In China, today is the first day of the Chinese New Year in the traditional lunar calendar.

According to the Chinese lunar calendar, every year corresponds to one of twelve rotating animals – rat, ox, tiger, rabbit, dragon, snake, horse, sheep, monkey, rooster, dog and pig.

2012 is the Year of the Dragon. 2012 is also my “Ben ming nian,” the year of my Zodiac sign.

“Ben ming nian” refers to the year in the Chinese lunar calendar that corresponds with a person’s year of birth once every twelve years.

I was born in the Year of Dragon. All those born in 1928, 1940, 1952, 1964, 1976, 1988, 2000, or 2012 have dragon as their Zodiac sign. Every twelve years after my birth year is my “Ben ming nian” – 1976, 1988, 2000, 2012, 2024, etc.

People born in each animal’s year are said to have the personality of the animal. The personality traits of dragon are:

powerful, strong, energetic, self-assured, proud, noble, direct, dignified, eccentric, intellectual, fiery, fearless, passionate, decisive, ambitious, pioneering, creative, innovative, artistic, generous, loyal, warm-hearted, charismatic. Can be hot headed, quick-tempered, sharp-tongued, tactless, arrogant, imperious, tyrannical, demanding, intolerant, dogmatic, violent, impetuous, brash.

To find out what your Zodiac sign is and learn more about the personality characteristics of your Zodiac Sign, or to find out who the notable dragons are, check out the following links:

Chinese Zodiac – Dragon

Wiki – Dragon

Chinese zodiac

Personality Characteristics of Your Chinese Zodiac Sign

The Chinese Zodiac Characteristics

Chinese Zodiac Calendar & Horoscope, Animals with Personality Traits, Yin & Yang

In Chinese astrology, the year of the dragon is the luckiest

For more info about the Chinese New Year tradition, read the Year of the Tiger.

Happy Chinese New Year to all near and far who celebrate this special festival!

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Performance review and Porter decision

Last month after I came back from a three-week trip to China, I was surprised to read in Woodbury Bulletin that South Washington County School Board didn’t renew Superintendent Mark Porter’s contract that will expire in June 2012.

No detailed explanation about the decision. I was curious and wondered why.

A few weeks passed, still not much detailed information was made public by the school board. But there were numerous letters from readers who questioned the school board decision and showed support for Mark Porter and his leadership.

I don’t know Mark Porter personally and don’t know anything about him and his leadership ability. I only saw him at school events. The most recent one was on Nov. 2, 2011 when he and his wife (who teaches at Lake Middle School) attended a joint band concert at Woodbury High School. I appreciated his support for the concert and for the band students/teachers through his appearance.

Imagine how many school events like this he attends every year as the superintendent, it’s quite a commitment and effort on his part.

From what I read and heard, our school district has been doing well under Porter’s leadership. At least I haven’t heard anything bad.

The one thing that bothered me the most about this decision was the school board failed to do the annual performance review with Porter as they should have.

If Superintendent Porter had not performed well in the last three years, the school board should have provided feedback through the annual performance review and given him a chance for improvement. They should not surprise him with the decision to not renew his contract without ongoing dialogue and feedback.

The school board should not surprise the public with the decision and not offer any reasonable explanation.

I liked school board member Jim Gelbmann’s Jan. 11 viewpoint article in Woodbury Bulletin: “School Board can, should reconsider Porter decision.” He was one of the two school board members who opposed the decision.

Like the Dec. 21 Woodbury Bulletin editorial says: “School Board owes public explanation for Porter decision.”

The school board needs to be more transparant in what they do in order to gain the trust from the public.

Trust is a sacred commodity. Once lost, it’s hard to regain it. Trust can only be built through openness and transparency.

 

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Cancer, cancer, go away

Today this kid’s song came to my mind.

Rain, rain, go away
Come again some other day
We want to go outside and play
Come again some other day.

I want to say:

Cancer, cancer, go away
Never come back another day
We want to enjoy life and live
Never come back another day.

Cancer, hospice, those are not words you want to hear, but I heard them twice today from two different sources.

My beloved pastor Frank Sanders has pancreatic cancer. His health is deteriorating. It’s hard to see him suffering so much physically.

Pray for Pastor Frank Sanders’ healing

A friend from Woodbury, only in her 40s, is also suffering from cancer. She was an athletic and vibrant woman in excellent health just 6 months ago. But cancer has destroyed her health.

Cancer is stealing both their lives away.

I know cancer can take their lives physically, but God gives them eternal life. No matter what happens to their bodies, their spirits are eternal and live on.

As someone said: “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience; we are spiritual beings having a human experience.

Still I hate to see them suffer physically!

There is heaviness and sadness in my heart. I only wish I could sing that modified song and make my friends’ cancer go away.

God, may you bless my pastor, my friend and their families, and give them peace and comfort as they go through this difficult journey. May your healing power come upon them. May they feel your love and presence in spirit. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

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Priorities in life – pt. 2

Yesterday’s post was mainly prompted by a recent argument I had with another person on this topic.

I think the priority list should be God first, marriage second, and children third. But the other person had the opposite point of view – children first, everything else a distant second.

That’s exactly what Mike said in his comment to my post: “Priority list= Children first…everything else a distant second.” His comment didn’t surprise me, because I heard it before.

Let me clarify what I meant to avoid any misunderstanding.

When I said “children third,” I didn’t mean they are not important and can be neglected by parents in any way. For me it’s a given, that parents have to take their parenting responsibilities and take good care of their children – love them, nurture them, feed them, cloth them, teach them, educate them, discipline them, keep them safe and healthy. I do not argue again this at all.

When parents say “Kids are my #1 priority,” I think they have the good intention to be the best parents to their children, the question is: “Is this the right path to take?”

Parenting doesn’t happen in a vacuum. To raise happy, responsible and well rounded children, you can’t ignore other relationships in life and focus all your attention on them.

Let’s use gardening as a simple analogy.

Think of God as the foundation or the fertile soil that’s critical for growing a good and healthy plant.

Think of marriage as the environment or the location where there is plenty of sun to grow a good and healthy plant.

Think of your children as a plant.

If you focus all your attention on the plant alone, without paying attention to the foundation and environment, you can do all you want, you can under-water it, over-water it,  or water it just right, your plant will never turn out as good as you would like to see.

If you truly love your kids, you need to love their mother or father first and work on the marriage. Without a strong marriage, no child can flourish. Just like a plant that can’t flourish without good soil and a sunny location.

This book by David Code “To Raise Happy Kids, Put Your Marriage First” might be a good resource to check out.

Here are some quotes by David Code from the article Priorities: Children or Spouse?

Here’s the biggest myth of parenting: The more attention we give our kids, the better they’ll turn out. Where are the results? Studies show today’s parents spend more time with their kids, and yet today’s kids don’t seem happier, more independent or successful. They seem more troubled, entitled and needy.

To raise healthy kids, simply put your marriage first and your children second. For many of today’s couples, the children are priority No. 1 one and marriage is priority No. 10 — and few of us make it past the top three priorities on our daily to-do list.

Our marriages are important, but not urgent. So we neglect to feed and water our marriages, which die so slowly and quietly that we don’t even realize our mistake until it’s too late. But not only do we lose our marriages, we set a poor example for our children’s future marriages, and we also create highly anxious households where our kids soak up that anxiety and then act out.

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Priorities in life

I believe the priorities in life should be

1. God comes first
2. Spouse is second
3. Children are third
4. Work, school, friends, etc come next.

God’s priority plan provides the recipe for a successful marriage, a happy life, and for raising responsible children.

If we don’t set our priorities right, we suffer the consequences with failed marriages, dysfunctional families, irresponsible and self-centered kids, etc.

I want to live my life in God’s way. In my heart I desire to do the right things. But I know I don’t always do what I know I should do, for a variety of reasons - lack of time, personal will, discipline, cooperation, understanding, etc.

A new year, a new beginning. My New Year’s resolution is to follow God’s priority plan for life.

 

Posted in Kids, Parenting | 3 Comments

Want to know your neighbors?

Do you know your neighbors?

Chances are good that you don’t.

Some of you might not even know who lives next door, what their names are, let alone who they are and what they do.

If you are curious about your neighbors and want to know who they are, or if you are ever in need to know what their addresses and phone numbers are, there is a very handy website for it, which I learned from my coworker Karen today.

White Pages – for your neighborhood http://neighbors.whitepages.com

Go to the website and enter your address. You will get a satellite picture showing your house and those of your neighbors who live in your immediate area, and a list of the neighbors with their names, addresses and phone numbers.

You can use the info to make friends with your neighbors, to create a neighborhood directory or to organize a block party. Whatever you do with that info, do something good to build and connect communities.

 

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Happy New Year

I came back from my three week trip to China on Dec. 29, in time to celebrate the New Year with my family and friends here in the US.

I spent the whole time with my parents in Suzhou.  Since I didn’t travel much, I didn’t take a lot of pictures. Today I posted some of the photos I took in China on Facebook.

With that, I would like to wish everyone a Happy and Healthy New Year. May you have good health, happiness, love, joy, peace and God’s blessings in 2012.

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Greetings from China

From my hometown Suzhou, China, I would like wish my family and your family in the US  M E R R Y   C H R I S T M A S !!!

I am in China for three weeks. I made the unplanned trip to visit my mom who was in the hospital for almost one month. She was in critical condition with heart and kidney failure due to complications from diabetics, high blood pressure and low heart beat.

My 78 year old father took care of my mother day and night in the hospital, with help from my brother. It was hard for me to be far away from my parents and felt helpless.

My mother was discharged from the hospital one day before I arrived home on Dec. 8. She is recovering well.

Even though I wished I had come home a little earlier to be a help for my parents while help was most needed, I am glad I can be home now. I treasure the quiet time I get to spend with my parents.

Every day I am with my parents is an ordinary day. I am living in a slow motion mode here. My day usually goes like this - Get up, breakfast, grocery shopping, lunch, dinner, go online checking emails, and then go to bed.

No stress, no driving, no snow. Good food, better health. Life is quiet, peaceful and good for now.

But life is getting harder for my parents as they get older.

They are glad to have me home for three weeks. This is the longest time I get to spend with them alone since I left China for Germany 25 years ago in 1986. I know it will be hard for them to see me leave again in a few days. And it will be hard for me to leave them behind, not knowing when we will see each other again.

China is 14 hours ahead of US (CT). Christmas is over. We don’t celebrate Christmas here. But for me, this is one of my most memorable Christmas. Having the opportunity and time to be with my parents is my best Christmas present this year.

I hope you are having a wonderful Christmas with your loved ones.

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A true leader and public servant

I know leadership is not about position or title. It’s not about power or authority. It’s not about status or wealth. Leadership is about character, competency, and credibility. It’s about influence and relationships.  But none of these statements was so convincing to me until I met Lynn Wehrman and had a chance to work with her at MnDOT on some projects in the last couple of years.

Wehrman had no title, no official position and no power at MnDOT, but she was one of the best leaders I personally know, respect and admire. She has the character, competency, and credibility. She is one of the most skilled, talented and competent employees I have known. She can get things done efficiently and effectively that might take a few people to do. She had passion and worked with enthusiasm on projects on her job and outside of
her normal job. Her influence and relationship touched people beyond MnDOT to
other state agencies and positively impacted people’s lives. She was a great
public servant who puts the public interests at the front.

Sadly, Wehrman left her 6 year career at MnDOT last week to pursuit a more fulfilling career on her own.  Before Wehrman left her job, I had a chance to interview her and talk with her about leadership.

Tang: Whom do you admire as a leader, and why?

Wehrman: My former boss at Norwest Bank who empowered me and gave me autonomy to do my job. When I started my job there, the first thing he told me was: “I don’t know how to do your job. You are the expert in your area. My job is to support you so you can do your job and do it well.” He is the boss by which all other bosses are measured. He doesn’t even know he had such an influence on me, because I never told him.

Tang: This is a good example of a leadership moment that can happen anywhere, anytime and to anyone, sometimes people don’t even realize it but its effect can be felt years later. What are some of the most important lessons you have learned as a leader and employee?

Wehrman: A leader who doesn’t appreciate and support his/her people can kill their enthusiasm and take their enthusiasm and engagement and turn it into disillusionment and despair.

Tang: What are the most critical attributes to successful  leadership?

Wehrman: As the leader, you are the glue that meshes together the talents and skills and brings people and things together. You are the facilitator. You must work harder than anyone else. You have to give recognition when credit is due and take responsibilities when something is wrong. You are the servant. Leadership is humility, not glamorous.  You make people feel included and appreciated. You believe something should be done and then do it, not do it with selfish expectation, because what you can get out of it and what’s in it for you.

The by-product of being a good and effective leader is recognition, respect, satisfaction. But they are not the primary purpose and motive in the first place.

Tang: What is the hardest part of becoming a leader?

Wehrman: Not micromanaging people, being open to other ideas and opinions, looking at yourself first before pointing fingers at others, keeping expectations out of the game, letting go of the need to feel right and to feel you are the smartest one.

Tang: What challenges do you see that leaders face in government?

Wehrman: Incentive to be complacent and corrupt, little support in creating things that benefit the public.

Tang: In what ways have you seen people in non-leadership positions use power and influence?

Wehrman: Being persistent and patient is important. Ask and educate are the keys to achieve what you want.

Last week I received the following good-bye email from Wehrman that she sent to a few friends.

“Today has been my last day as a State of Minnesota employee.  I will be leaving to a new venture and am content about the work I was privileged to accomplish, and the people I got to know, as a public servant.

I just wanted to say thank you for working with me, beside me and for allowing me in your life for the past 6 years.  I will carry the memory of you, and what we shared as coworkers and volunteers, in my heart as I move into the next exciting phase.”

As I read it, I felt a great loss for myself and for MnDOT and for the State of Minnesota, for losing a good friend, a talented employee and a great public servant. On the other hand, I am happy for her to have successfully started her own company WeCO in providing website accessibility and become her own boss. I am convinced that she will be successful in her new venture.

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“From Silver to Gold”

The autobiography by my pastor at Spirit of Life Bible Church, From Silver to Gold : One Man’s Pursuit of the Ultimate Prize, written by Pastor Frank Sanders and a fellow church member Tony Ducklow, is finished and just published.

A book buying and signing session will be held after church service on Sunday, December 11 at Spirit of Life Bible Church.

To learn more about the book and to purchase a copy online, go to www.fromsilvertogold.com.

Read my previous posts about Pastor Frank Sanders:

Pray for Paster Frank Sanders’ healing

Poor in wealth, rich in love

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Thankful for friends

In my last year’s Thanksgiving post Thankful for friends, I talked about my Thanksgiving party and the turkey that a friend of mine prepared for me and delivered to my house for the party.

This year, my friend performed the same act of kindness. She bought,  prepared, baked and delivered a turkey to my house, along with mashed potatoes, cranberries and also meatballs. My family had the yummy turkey for lunch.

I told my friend we got catering service without paying a dime.

Later we went to another friend’s house for turkey dinner. My Chinese friend married an American guy who is good at making traditional turkey dinner.

So we had turkeys twice on Thanksgiving. I feel blessed and I am really thankful for the friends I have. I am grateful for their kindness, generosity and friendship.

I hope you also had a blessed Thanksgiving holiday with your families and friends.

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Thankful for my kids

My son Andy is doing well at school. At teacher’s conferences, I always get good comments about him being a good student. I usually don’t have to worry about him doing his homework on his own, completing school work on time and bringing home a good report card every time one is issued. He had all As on his last report card.

Band is Andy’s least favorite subject. He doesn’t like playing his instrument. So this is the only subject I have to remind him every so often. Lately I noticed that Andy had not been practicing his clarinet at home as he should have. I was concerned and nagged him every day to practice and finish his assignments on time so he doesn’t get a bad score on band.

One day after Andy finished a band assignment on Smart Music, I asked him what the computer score was when he submitted the assignment. Then I criticized him for not spending more time practicing, not putting in more effort and not getting a higher score above 90. He broke down and said: “Mom, This is hard for me. I tried my best. Even when I get a higher score, you will still not be happy. I am never good enough for you.”

Obviously Andy was frustrated and venting. But Andy’s reaction hit me.

I don’t think of myself as a Tiger Mom. I am usually happy with his report card. Even when he got a B, I wasn’t hard on him. But like many Chinese parents, we tend to have a very high expectations of our kids. The joke among us parents is (actually someone was talking about it last night at a friend’s party), when our kids get a score of 99, instead of simply saying: “Nice job. I am proud of you,” we often focus on the missing point and ask: “Why didn’t you get a 100% perfect score?”

My kids once told me what ABC on the report card means for American kids and for Chinese kids.

The ABC on report card -

For American kids, A is for Excellent, B is for good, C is for average.

For Chinese kids, A is for Average, B is for Bad, C is for Crushed.

I laughed when my daughter first told me about it. I thought it was funny and on the point.

I had to apologize to my son when I saw him crying and realized how my high expectations and negative comments were hurting him. I should have known that you can’t motivate someone with negative comments.

I asked Andy what he wanted to hear more, he said: “You did a nice job, but there is still room for improvement.” That’s very fair.

In this quiet early hour on Thanksgiving Day, as I reflect on the recent incident with my son, I am filled with gratitude for my kids. I am thankful for them, for who they are and for how well they are doing. I should never take them for granted. I should always encourage them more with positive comments rather than discouraging them with negative comments.

Today, when my son wakes up, I am going to tell him: “Thanks for being a good kid and thanks for doing a nice job with your school work, just remember, there is still room for improvement.”

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Power and leadership

Stephanie McGovern, leadership consultant and coach, owner of High Performance Systems, was the presenter at my Emerging Leaders Institute (ELI) training on Friday, Nov. 18, 2011.

In her presentation titled “Achieving results through personal power and leadership,” McGovern talked about some basic principles of power and influence, what is power (Energy + focus = power), the different kinds of powers and power sources. Some of the topics she covered include:

Three categories of power:

  1. Coercive power (Power over) – To force, pressure, comel or threaten someone to act in a certain way to achieve a goal.
  2. Covert power (Power under) – To control a situation behind the scene to achieve your desired outcome.
  3. Collaborative power (Power with) – To work together using each other’s individual power to achieve something greater than one person can achieve alone.

Three arenas of power:

  1. Personal power (relationship with self) – the ability to achieve desired outcome; act in alignment with your strengths, skills, purpose, values, beliefs; and have confidence and trust in yourself.
  2. Interpersonal power (relationship with others) -  the ability to influence others to do what you want without use of formal authority or positional power. It requires an ability to understand what others want and need and to help them get it as well as a willingness to pursue what you want and need. Interpersonal power creates collaboration, trust, alignment with common goals.
  3. Organizational power (relationship to the environment and the system) – the ability to work within an oprganization to create outcomes that supports the needs of the individuals in the organization and the overall goals of the organization.

Personal power base – the 4 P’s:

  1. Purpose – What is my outcome?
  2. Passion – What do I really care about?
  3. Personal responsibility -What’s my part?
  4. Possibilities – What could I do?

The blame game:

  1. Blaming – disowning problems
  2. Fixing – owning others’ problems
  3. Complaining – dwelling on problems

The winner’s game:

  1. Reframing – move from blaming to responsibility
  2. Coaching – move from fixing to encouraging others
  3. Problem solving – move from complaining to positive solutions

Reasons for resistance:

  1. I don’t understand it.
  2. I don’t like it.
  3. I don’t like/trust you.

Dealing with resistance:

  1. Listen
  2. Make it easy to understand
  3. Make it safe to change
  4. Identify and understand underlying needs
  5. Find a common goal
  6. Invite joint problem solving

The all-day training was a mixture of PowerPoint presentation, group discussions, partnership work, and games. It was informative, interesting and engaging.

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The 5 languages of appreciation in China

Dr. Paul White, who co-authored with Dr. Gary ChapmanThe 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace: Empowering Organizations by Encouraging People,” left a comment on my post about the book. He asked about the cross-cultural applicability of the 5 Languages.

I would like to respond and say a few words here. Since I am more familiar with China where I grew up, I will use China as an example.

I think human beings have the same needs and wants no matter where they are from and where they live. Everyone desires to be loved and to be appreciated by others, and desires to love and appreciate others, expressed in these 5 languages. So the 5 languages of love and appreciation concept should be applicable in all cultures.

But cultural differences do affect how the 5 languages are played out in life.

In China, position and power dominate the relationships in the workplace. The concept of servant leadership is non existing. Whoever has a higher position has power over the people below him. Employees are to serve the people in power who don’t see a need to appreciate their employees. The attitude of most leaders/managers/business owners is “You should be thankful that you have a job and work here.” In most cases, you need to know someone, bribe someone in order to get a good job.

So in terms of showing appreciation in the workplace, it’s not managers/supervisors, but employees who need to express appreciation to the people in power in order to get a better job, get a promotion, and to win favors.

As my brother recently told me: “If my boss asks me (not someone else) to do something, especially something personal for his family, I feel appreciative because I have a chance to serve him and I feel trusted.”

While I see a good balance of using all the 5 languages in the US (except physical touch in the workplace), that’s not the case in China.

The predominant language of love and appreciation is tangible gifts. People love to give gifts, or to be more accurate, they feel obligated to give gifts. They feel obligated to give gifts (often times cash, gift cards) to people in power, to teachers, to doctors, and others in order to win favors.

Chinese people are not huggers and are not physically and emotionally expressive aspeople in the western culture. So physical touch is not a primary language in the Chinese culture. Family members don’t usually hug each other, let along in the workplace. A handshake is what most people do.

Words of affirmation, quality time and acts of service are not as important as tangible gifts, but used more than physical touch.

I don’t think people in China write thank-you cards as they do in the US. They express their love and appreciation (whether out of heart or oblication) through tangible gifts. Usually no words need to be said.

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Sad news

A phone call with my brother in China changed my mood totally and left me sleepless. It’s 3 am now, but I am as wake as can be.

As usual, I called my parents in China on Friday evening. My brother picked up the phone. He was trying to reach me at the same time.

Mother is in hospital since Thursday, Nov. 10. She fell about a week ago and suffered bruises. A few days later, she couldn’t get out of bed. My mother has diabetics and low heart beat. Now she can’t walk and has troubles with breathing. She is in intensive care. Doctors said she needs a pacemaker.

Being so far away, I am no help for my parents.

Unlike here in the US, visiting doctors and going to hospitals are quite an ordeal in China. It’s not as simple as making an appointment and showing up for the appointment. You have to go through a lot more hassles and deal with some issues. You better have connection and know someone in the hospital.

So in the last few hours I was trying to reach someone who might know someone in the hospital where my mother is now.

I contacted a friend via email and phone. He is a heart doctor and a pioneer in his field. So he is known among colleagues. He just got off the plane and responded to my plea for help with a couple of short sentences: “Contact the head of the Department and tell him that I referred you. Let me know if you have problems.”

In China, the most important thing is connection. To do anything important, you need to find some connection. Connection makes a big difference. Now I feel better. Even though I can’t be with my mother and help her directly. I am glad that I was able to help her a little bit indirectly.

My brother also shared with me another sad news, a real tragedy that just happened to a high ranking leader in his organization. According to my brother, that individual is a very respected leader and person. He once helped my brother switch a job and get a better job, even though my brother didn’t work for him. He was just being very kind.

His only son died in a car crash on Nov. 6, along with another Chinese student at the University of Dayton in Ohio. I searched the news with the last name only and found it online, including this University of Dayton student newspaper article. Both victims’ families are now in the US.

It’s hard to imagine what those two families are going through. Any life lost at such a young age is very sad. Now I feel some connection with one of the families, the sadness feels a little stronger.

I couldn’t help but pause for a moment and think about life and how fragile life is. Tomorrow is not guaranteed to anyone. No one knows what tomorrow will bring. We are quite helpless on our own.

A good friend of mine left for China last week because her brother-in-law in his fifties died suddenly while riding on motorcycle. It was a very unexpected event. She told me after she received the sad news that her only regret was that she didn’t share the Gospel with her brother-in-law. Now it’s too late.

It’s a lesson she was trying to share with me which I should take into heart.

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The 5 languages of appreciation

Dr. Gary Chapman is the author of the bestselling book “The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate” (see my previous article The Five Love Languages). Recently he co-authored with Dr. Paul White a new book The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace: Empowering Organizations by Encouraging People.

The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace applies the 5 love language concept to the workplace.

The 5 Languages of Appreciation are:

  • Words of affirmation – use words to communicate a positive message to another person: praise for accomplishments, affirmation for positive character and personality traits. It can be done in private one-on-one, or publicly in front of others. It can be verbal or written.
  • Quality time – give individual time and undivided attention to another person: quality conversation, shared experiences, small group dialogue, working closely together, having fun together.
  • Acts of service – do something for another person. “Don’t tell me you care, show me.”
  • Tangible gifts – give the right gift to a person who truly appreciates it.
  • Physical touch – communicates a variety of positive messages
    in relationships – a sense of trust, closeness, connectedness and caring: handshake, high five, pat on the back, hug.

People in the workplace need to feel appreciated in order to enjoy their job, do their best work, and continue working over the long haul.

As a supervisor or manager, you need to communicate appreciation, encouragement and support for your employees whenever possible. If you want your employees to feel appreciated and valued, you must speak their primary appreciation language and encourage them in ways that are meaningful to them.

The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace helps you discover your and your coworkers’ primary appreciation language – the language that speaks most deeply to you emotionally, and your least valued language of appreciation – your potential blind spot.

When supervisors and managers can effectively communicate appreciation and encouragement to their employees, the following results can happen:

  • higher levels of job satisfaction
  • decreased cases of burnout
  • reductions in employee turnover
  • healthier relationships between managers and employees
  • improved attendance, performance and productivity
  • greater customer satisfaction
  • a more positive corporate culture and work environment.
Posted in Book, Leadership, Personal development | 2 Comments

Motivating by appreciation

One of the best ways to motivate people is by expressing your appreciation. Making people feel appreciated is what a great leader does. It is listed on the top of the 5 leadership principles by Jack Myrick.

In his book The Shipbuilder: Five Ancient Principles of Leadership, Jack Myrick talks about the following five leadership principles:

  1. Make them feel appreciated
  2. See their potential, not their flaws
  3. Lead with authority, not power
  4. Love them first
  5. Make them feel they are part of something special

If you want to know more about motivating by appreciation, I would highly recommend the book The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace:Empowering Organizations by Encouraging People by Gary Chapman and Paul White.

I will talk more about the book in the next post.

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Three motivational theories

Leadership and motivation go hand in hand. A great leader is usually also a great motivator. Part of becoming a leader is to learn what motivates people and where motivation comes from.

There are various motivational theories. Listed below are three popular ones.

Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs presents different motivations at different levels. The hierarchy of needs, listed from basic (lowest) to most complex (highest) are as follows:

  1. Level 1: Physiology – need for food, shelter, health
  2. Level 2: Safety and Security – need to feel safe
  3. Level 3: Social – need to belong (belongingness, love, friendship)
  4. Level 4: Self-esteem – need to be recognized for accomplishments
  5. Level 5: Self actualization – need to find meaning

According to Maslow, a need motivates us as long as it is not satisfied. When your need at any one level is satisfied, the needs of the next level become more critical.

First, people are motivated to fulfill basic biological needs for food and shelter, as well as those of safety, love and esteem. Once the lower level needs have been met, the primary motivator becomes the need for self-actualization, or the desire to fulfill one’s individual potential, find meaning and purpose.

Frederick Herzberg’s motivation-hygiene theory

Herzberg’s motivation-hygiene theory, a.k.a. intrinsic/extrinsic motivation, concludes that certain factors in the workplace result in job satisfaction.

He defined two basic categories that impact motivation.

  1. Motivators (the job itself) which give positive satisfaction – challenging work, increased responsibility, growth and development, achievement, recognition for accomplishments.
  2. Hygiene factors (environment) that do not motivate if present, but, if absent, result in demotivation – salary, status, job security, fringe benefits. The name “Hygiene factors” is used because, like hygiene, the presence will not make you healthier, but absence can cause health deterioration. Hygiene factors, when satisfied, tend to eliminate dissatisfaction, but they do little to motivate an individual to superior performance or increased capacity.

David McClelland’s motivation theory

David McClelland (1917-98) developed achievement-based motivational theory. In his book “The Achieving Society,” McClelland defined three types of motivational need:

Achievement motivation

The “achievement motivated” person seeks out challenging or competitive goals and advancement in the job. There is a strong need for feedback as to achievement and progress, and a need for a sense of accomplishment.

Authority/power/influence motivation  

The “authority motivated” person has a need to be influential, effective, to lead and to make an impact, and is concerned about how he is perceived by others. There is also a  need towards increasing personal status and prestige.

Affiliation motivation

The “affiliation motivated” person has a need for friendly relationships, to be liked and held in popular regard, and is motivated towards interaction with other people. These people are team players.

Related posts:

  1. Situational leadership styles
  2. Managerial skills
  3. Feedback skills
  4. The 12 blocks to listening
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The 12 blocks to listening

To be an effective leader, you have to have effective communication skills. An important part of developing effective communication skills is to develop effective listening skills.

The first step in developing effective listening skills is to be aware of the barriers to effective listening, and to understand and eliminate those barriers that block effective communications.

There are 12 commonly known blocks to listening.

1. Comparing – Comparing makes it hard to listen because you are too busy trying to compare one person with another.

2. Mind Reading – Instead of paying attention to what is said, you try to figure out what the other person is really thinking and feeling in an effort to see through to the truth.

3. Rehearsing – You do not have time to listen or pay attention to listening when you are
rehearsing what to say. Your whole attention is on the preparation and crafting of your next comment.

4. Filtering – When you filter, you listen to some things and not to others. You hear what you want to hear, and avoid what you don’t want to hear and let your mind wander.

5. Judging (prejudging)

If you prejudge someone or label someone negatively, you do not pay much attention to what he says.

6. Dreaming

You are half-listening, and something the person says suddenly triggers a chain
of private associations. You are more prone to dreaming when you feel bored or anxious.

7. Identifying

You take everything a person tells you and refer it back to your own
experience. Everything you hear reminds you of something that you have felt,
done, or suffered. You launch into your story before they can finish theirs.

8. Advising

You are the great problem-solver, ready with help and suggestions. You do not have to hear more than a few sentences before you begin searching for the right advice.

9. Sparring

Your focus is on finding things to disagree with. The way to avoid sparring is
to repeat back and acknowledge what you have heard. Look for one thing you
might agree with.

One subtype of sparring is the put-down. You use sarcastic remarks to dismiss
the other person’s point of view. A second type of sparring is discounting.
Discounting is for people who cannot stand compliments.

10. Being Right

You will go to any lengths to avoid being wrong. You cannot listen to criticism, you cannot be corrected, and you cannot take suggestions to change.

11. Derailing

You change the subject suddenly. You derail the train of conversation when you get bored or uncomfortable with a topic.

12. Placating

You want to be nice, pleasant, and supportive. You want people to like you – so you agree with everything. You half-listen, but you are not really involved.

Related posts:

  1. Situational leadership styles
  2. Managerial skills
  3. Feedback skills

 

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Feedback skills

Giving and receiving feedback are important skills to have for everyone, especially for supervisors and leaders. Leaders who provide effective feedback can direct, engage, motivate, inspire and empower others in a very powerful way.

While positive feedback is a great motivation, critical feedback provides greater opportunities to grow and develop. Learning how to use positive feedback to praise and critical feedback to correct effectively can improve communication and relationship. You become a better leader if you can master the skills of giving and receiving feedback.

In her book Feedback Skills for Leaders: Building Constructive Communication Skills Up and Down the Ladder (2006), a revised edition of Giving and Receiving Feedback (1998), author Patti Hathaway talks about how to deal with critical feedback and give constructive feedback.

There are three types of critical feedback - valid, unjustified and vague critical feedback.

1. Valid Critical Feedback - The feedback is based on facts and truth.

2. Unjustified Critical Feedback- often expressed in broad, general terms that are unrealistic, untrue, and may be spoken in anger. It can be a result from a difference of opinion, of not living up to someone else’s expectation. It may come from the critic’s feelings such as jealousy, fear, insecurity, or arrogance. This type of critical feedback may say more about the critic than it does about the person being criticized.

3. Vague Critical Feedback – People often do not communicate their expectations clearly. For critical feedback to be genuinely helpful, it must be expressed in specific, concrete terms, so that others can understand the expectations and take appropriate action if needed.

There are three stages of response to critical feedback.

1. Awareness – When we are being criticized, our natural instinct and response are counterattacking, becoming defensive or becoming a silent victim. These responses of putting critic down or passive reaction do not promote a climate for dialogue and to build a relationship. The right approach to handling critical feedback is to be aware of the critical feedback and then move quickly to assessing its merit.

2. AssessmentAssess whether the critical feedback is valid, how the feedback was
delivered, and the intention of the critic.

To determine whether critical feedback is valid or invalid, ask yourself several questions:

  • Do I hear the same feedback from more than one person?
  • Does the critic know a great deal about the subject?
  • Are the critic’s standards known and reasonable?
  • Is the critical feedback really about me? Or is the critic
    merely having a bad day or upset about something else?
  • How important is it for me to respond to the critical
    feedback?

If you respond positively to most of the questions, the critical feedback may be valid. If you respond negatively to most of the questions, the feedback is likely to be invalid.

3. ActionIt’s important to check the facts and consider your response carefully. Remember – do not react!

Here are some action strategies for dealing with critical feedback.

Fogging – When faced with unjustified critical feedback, avoid counterattacks. Keep your self confidence and self-esteem, and don’t take the critical feedback personally. Acknowledge the possibility that there may be some truth to the critical feedback, but do not become irrational. Uses active listening skills to paraphrase the critical feedback while adding a fogging statement. Another approach is to disagree politely.

Admitting the Truth - For handling valid feedback, the first thing we
must do is accept it as valid. Accept your mistakes and faults. Thank your critic
for bringing the problem to your attention. Say what you will do to correct the
mistakes. Ask your critic for suggestions.

Requesting Specific Feedback – Requesting specific feedback is the most effective technique in handling critical feedback, especially feedback that is vague.

To give constructive feedback, remember to set realistic goals and expectations, research
the facts, choose your timing, and most importantly, be specific – using the
DASR method.

Describe -

  • Describe the behavior and action, not the “motive.”
  • Describe teh situation and outcomes you want.
  • Describe a specified time, place, and action.
  • Use concrete terms.

Acknowledge -

  • Acknowledge and express your negative feelings calmly.

Specify -

  • Ask for a change in behavior.
  • Specify the concrete actions you want stopped or performed.

Reaffirm -

  • Reaffirm the other’s ability to make the change.
  • End on a positive note.

Giving and receiving feedback is a gift for leaders and will help you become more effective.

Related posts:

  1. Situational leadership styles
  2. Managerial skills
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Managerial skills

In 1955 Prof. Robert Katz developed the three managerial skill model.

According to Katz, there are three managerial skills that every manager needs.
These are:

  1. Technical Skills -  the ability to perform the given job. The lower-level managers require more technical skills.
  2. Human Relations (Interpersonal) Skills - the ability to understand, communicate  and work with people. Human relations skills are required by all managers at all levels of management. The reason for that is all managers have to interact and work with people.
  3. Conceptual Skills - the ability to see the big picture, to visualise the organisation as a whole. It includes analytical, creative, problem-solving skills. The top-level managers require more conceptual skills and less technical skills.

Managers working at different levels of management require different levels of skills. The level of importance of each skill set is directly correlated with the management level that the person has in the organization. As managers moves up in the organization, they need more conceptual skills and less technical skills.

Related posts:

  1. Situational leadership styles
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Situational leadership styles

Marilyn J. Corrigan, Leadership and Communications Consultant from Eden Prairie, Minnesota, was one of the two presenters at my Emerging Leaders Institute (ELI) training on Friday, Oct. 14, 2011.

In her 4 1/2 hour presentation titled “Dynamic Leadership,” Corrigan covered a lot of topics including characteristics of effective leadership, difference between effectiveness and success, good to great leadership (5 levels of leadership), managerial skills, situational leadership styles, DASR feedback methods, motivational theories, and effective listening skills.

Below and in the next few posts, I will share more details about some of these topics. I will start with  situational leadership styles.

The situational leadership model was developed by Paul Hersey and Kenneth Blanchard in
1969. In 1985 Blanchard refined the model and it was named The Situational Leadership II (SLII) model. It is one of the most well known models in leadership theory.

The Situational Leadership Model has two components - the Leadership Style and Development Level.

According to the situational leadership model, there is no one best leadership style. Effective leaders are the ones who are able to adapt their leadership style according to the situation – match the appropriate leadership style to the individual’s or group’s development level.

Leadership Style

Leadership style is explained in two different kinds of behavior: Supportive behavior and Directive Behavior.

  1. Supportive Behavior – This people-oriented behavior involves two way communication and focuses mainly on emotional and social support.
  2. Directive Behavior – This task-oriented behavior focuses on goals to be achieved and actions to be taken.

The leadership styles can be classified in four groups:

  1. Directing style/S1 – High directive, low supportive.
  2. Coaching style/S2 – High directive, high supportive.
  3. Supporting style/S3 – Low directive, high supportive.
  4. Delegating (Empowering) style/S4 - Low directive, low supportive.

Development Level

Development level refers to the follower’s degree of competence and commitment. The four levels describe several combinations on competence and commitment.

  1. D1 - Low competence, high commitment (don’t know what they don’t know).  Start with Directing Style (high directive, low supportive)
  2. D2 - Some competence, shaky commitment (overwhelmed by what they don’t know). Go to Coaching Style (High directive, high supportive)
  3. D3 - Moderate competence, moderate commitment (knowledgeable but not too motivated). Move to Supporting Style (low directive, high supportive)
  4. D4 - High competence, high commitment ((knowledgeable and motivated). Move to Delegating Style (low directive, low supportive).

Effective leadership lies in matching the appropriate leadership style to the development level. Otherwise there will be problems and conflicts.

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Becoming Extraordinary Leaders

“Becoming Extraordinary Leaders” was the title of the presentation by Jack Zenger at my Emerging Leaders Institute (ELI) training on Friday, Oct. 14, 2011.

The presentation was based on his research and book The Extraordinary Leader : Turning Good Managers into Great Leaders.

Using “The Leadership Tent” as the conceptual framework, Zenger talked about the following five elements of a great leader:

1. Character – The center pole represents the personal character of an individual. It is the core of all leadership effectiveness. A great leader must display integrity and honesty.

2. Personal Capability- This tent pole describes the intellectual, emotional, and skill makeup of the individual. It includes technical and professional expertise, analytical and problem-solving capabilities, ability to create a clear vision and sense of purpose for the organization, and self-development.

3. Focus on Results - This tent pole describes the ability to have an impact on the organization. It means being capable of getting things done, taking initiatives and driving for results.

4. Interpersonal Skills - This tent pole includes all the interpersonal and people skills, such as communicating, inspiring and motivating others to high performance, building relationships, developing others, collaboration and teamwork.

 5. Leading Change - This final tent  pole focuses on an individual’s ability to produce change within an  organization.

Zenger also talked about 10 fatal flaws that consistently lead to leadership failure:

  1. Not inspiring due to a lack of energy and enthusiasm
  2. Accepting mediocre performance in place of excellent results
  3. Lack of clear vision and direction
  4. Loss of trust stemming from perceived bad judgment and poor decisions
  5. Not a collaborative team player
  6. Not a good role model (failure to walk the talk)
  7. No self-development and learning from mistakes
  8. Lacking interpersonal skills
  9. Resistant to new ideas, thus did not lead change or innovate
  10. Focus is on self, not the development of others
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Showing my pastor appreciation

October is Pastor Appreciation Month. Have you done something special for your pastor to express your love and appreciation?

Last Sunday at Spirit of Life Bible Church, my pastor Frank Sanders and his wife Kathy was showered with hugs and cards by the congregation. As the couple stood by the alter, families lined up on both sides. One by one, they went to the alter and expressed their love and appreciation to the Pastor couple. It was very moving to see the impact  Pastor Frank and his wife have on the church and its people.

I gave my pastor and his wife a handwritten thank-you note along with a gift card. I also praised my pastor publicly on  Faith Radio and entered him into the Clergy Appreciation Month drawing.

Today I learned from a church member that I won two books because I entered my pastor into the pastor appreciation drawing. She heard the news on the radio this morning. So that’s cool. I hope he will like these two books.

October is almost over. But there is still time to do something for your pastor. And you don’t have to do it in October. You can show appreciation any time, any day and any month.

Everyone likes to be appreciated. Pastors, who are often overworked and underpaid, deserve more appreciation and encouragement than anyone.

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My doctor visit and recommendations

This week I had a doctor visit at the HealthPartner Clinic for the annual physical exam. And I learned something new.

At the check-in, I was given a brochure by the receptionist. I didn’t pay attention to it because I found some more interesting materials to read in the waiting room.

After I was called in by the nurse and after she was finished with the initial exam, I was left alone in the room to change and to wait for my doctor.

It was a long wait. I had finished reading the whole magazine and the doctor still didn’t show up. Not knowing what’s going on, I got inpatient.

Dressed in my hospital gown, I opened the door, stuck my head out and asked the nurse standing in the hallway where the doctor was.

A few minutes later, my doctor finally came. She apologized for the delay because she had to do something for the other patient. That’s OK with me as long as I was told what’s going on.

The doctor did a few manual exams here and there on my body. She asked if I had any concerns. I did.

I have had shoulder, neck and back pain on and off. They come and go. So I asked the doctor about it. She advised me to take Ibuprofen whenever I have the pain. I said I was not interested in the pain medication. I was not concerned about the pain, but I was concerned about the cause of the pain. I didn’t want to take pain medication to not feel the pain. Pain medication doesn’t solve the problem for me, it only covers it up. Then my doctor said I should do physical therapy. She didn’t say anything about what I could do to prevent shoulder, neck and back pain.

I also asked the doctor about any effective treatment for nail fungus that doesn’t have any side effects like the oral medication has. She mentioned laser treatment. Then she left the room to let me change.

After I finished changing and while I was waiting for the doctor to come up, I picked up the brochure to read because I had nothing else to do. I was glad I did.

The brochure was about preventive care visits and billing. It says when patients come in for the annual preventive care visit, if they also discuss with their physician a medical issue unrelated to their annual exam and the physician spends extra time to talk about and assess other concerns, it is considered as two distinct services in one visit and as the result the physician will bill twice, one for the routine preventive care visit and one for the illness related office visit. The process is known as split billing. In this situation, the patient is responsible for paying a copay and/or deductible related to the “non-preventive” portion of the visit.

Immediately, this raised a red flag in my mind. Because I did ask my doctor about two concerns unrelated to the preventive care, I could be billed for it and have to pay copay and deductible.

When my doctor came back, I asked her about the billing. She hesitated a little bit and said she won’t do split billing because she didn’t spend a lot of extra time.

I wondered whether the result would be different if I had not asked her about the billing and if I had not waited for her for a long time. The time I spent waiting for her was a lot longer than the time she spent with me for the visit.

So here is the new thing I learned.

During the annual physical visit, when the doctor asks what concerns I have. I am supposed to keep my mouth shut and not discuss any concerns I might have.

My question is, why do physicians ask patients about their concerns? They should stop asking: “Do you have any concerns?” It feels like a set up now.

I have been thinking about changing my doctor since this last doctor visit. I wanted to find someone who

  • doesn’t rush in and out the room,
  • is interested in dealing with the causes of any issues I have than just prescribing medications to deal with the symptoms,
  • is more knowledgeable about alternative medicine,
  • does a better job caring for the patients.

Today I paid a visit to Weili Shen’s Acupuncture Woodbury. I had always wanted to try acupuncture, but never did before.

My first acupuncture visit was great. I will definitely go back and intend to continue in the years to come.

I believe acupuncture will do a better job in preventing and healing a lot of medical concerns. Even if you don’t have any concerns, acupuncture can still be good for your overall health and well-being. Any it doesn’t have any side effects.

BTW, if anyone has a recommendation for any good family doctor in Woodbury, please let me know.

If anyone needs a recommendation for an acupuncturist or orthodontist, I would recommend the following:

Weili Shen - Acupuncture Woodbury

She started practice in Woodbury only four years ago, but has already gained loyalty of  patients some of whom have to pay out of their own pockets to visit her.

Read a related article about her and acupuncture.

Dr. Robert E. Eng - Mendota Heights Orthodontics

He is my son’s orthodontist with offices in Mendota Heights and St. Paul. He has the honesty, integrity and trustworthiness that I often don’t feel in other doctors.

Last week I visited Dr. Eng with my son who the dentist said needed braces. After the visual exam, Dr. Eng told me, my son could benefit from braces, but he doesn’t necessarily have to have braces. It was up to me to decide. I like him for putting patient’s interest first instead of his own interest.

I mentioned Dr. Eng in a previous article.

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14 traits of a great place to work

In the article “Discover the secrets of becoming a great place to work” by Patti Lee-Hoffmann (Leader To Leader Journal, No.61, Summer 2011), the author talked about 14 traits of a great place to work.

The 14 traits are:

  1. Artwork, Music, and Performance - Great companies encourage employees to express themselves in a variety of ways, including through art, music, and performance.
  2. Everyone a Leader – Great companies build leadership from within the organization—from top to bottom, as well as across departmental boundaries.
  3. Firing Customers and Clients - Great companies are not afraid to fire a customer when ethical, financial, legal, or other considerations require it.
  4. Company and Community Are One - Many great companies have become an integral part of the communities in which they are located. They contribute to their communities in many ways—far beyond just providing jobs and paychecks.
  5. Company-Wide Meetings – While most companies have meetings, a much smaller number have company-wide meetings that involve everyone in the organization at the same time or place—either in person or virtually by computer link for building communication, relationships, knowledge, and trust.
  6. Focusing on the Environment and Sustainability - Great companies have a focus on sustainability and the environment.
  7. Constantly Challenging the Status Quo – Great companies focus on continuous improvement that results in reduced waste, improved product quality, reduced rework time, faster response times, lowered costs, and the development of more innovative products and services.
  8. Egoless Leadership - Leaders of great companies remember that they do not work alone—it takes the active support and engagement of employees at all levels of an organization to create a business that is built to last.
  9. Future Focus – The leaders of great companies keep an eye on the future. They are constantly exploring new product and service offerings and new ways of doing business.
  10. A Truth-Telling Culture – Great companies practice management honesty and transparency—treating their employees as partners instead of hired help.
  11. Ignoring the Conventional Wisdom -Great companies lead their industries instead of following them—they break new ground and take risks that more conservative organizations are unwilling to chance.
  12. Employees First - Great companies put employees first. In doing so, they build employee engagement and loyalty.
  13. Storytelling – Great companies do a great job of telling employees, customers, shareholders, and other stakeholders about the good work they’re doing, and the positive impact they are having on their communities and the world around them.
  14. Action, Not Talk – Becoming great requires not just talk, but action—a lot of action.
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The 7 E’s of mentor leadership

I am currently reading Tony Dungy’s latest book The MentorLeader: Secrets to Building People and Teams That Win Consistently, co-authored with Nathan Whitaker.

I am not a fan of any sport. I only knew Tony Dungy from the interviews I heard on radios over the years.  He wrote three books. This is the first book I read by him.

Among the leadership books I have read, this book is one of my favorites. I like the writing style, the contents, and the approach to the subject.

Here I am sharing a very small part from the book on the 7 E’s of mentor leadership.

“I cannot move the ball forward with positive, nurturing leadership until I engage with those I am blessed to lead. Once I’ve engaged with them, I am able to educate and equip. Throughout the process, it is essential to encourage, empower, and energize in order to finally elevate the people around me.”

Engage – It’s impossible to mentor from a distance. Without engagement, you cannot lead effectively. A true open-door policy is a matter of attitude and approachability, not just whether the office door is propped open.

Educate – Education is an essential building block of mentor leadership. Because mentor leadership is all about helping others become the best they can be, it is built on a foundation of teaching, helping, and guiding. Mentor leaders must take a hands-on, one-on-one approach to mentoring individual lives.

Equip -Mentor leaders create an environment in which others can be productive and excel. They provide the tools and equipment needed for everyone to be successful in their assignment and to ultimately accomplish their mission. In essence, they strive to furnish what is needed for the task – physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually – and to accomplish the mission. Educating and equipping go hand in hand. 

Encourage – Encouragement is the fuel that powers our efforts to engage, educate, and equip.Mentor leaders care, lift others up and encourage. People need affirmation and encouragement. 

Empower – True empowerment is preparation followed by appropriate freedom. At some point, a mentor leader must turn others loose to do their jobs. 

Energize – Great leaders energize, motivate and inspire those they lead. They do this intentionally. 

Elevate – The ultimate goal of every mentor leader is to build and grow other leaders for long-term, sustainable success. The regenerative idea that leaders produce leaders, who in turn produce leaders – is a powerful concept for mentor leaders and their organizations. At the heart of this regeneration is the principle of elevation – raising people up. Raising up leaders is the truly selfless goal of every mentor leader, the culmination of focusing on others. To elevate your followers means to help them reach their God-given potential, even if it means preparing them to replace you. As a mentor leader, the success of the people you’ve elevated is what you like to see. You want the organization to continue to thrive after you are gone, to be in better shape when you leave than when you got there. It’s not about getting the credit; it’s about helping the organization, and everyone in it, be the best they can be. An organization that remains totally dependent on a particular personality is one that has not been properly led. 

These 7 E’s describe a progression of steps that will help you mentor others while you lead them to reach their potential. They are the methods of a mentor leader for maximizing the potential of any individual and organization for ultimate success and significance.

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Leadership and ethics

Leadership and ethics are the main topics on Day 3 of my Emerging Leaders Institute (ELI) training on Thursday, Oct. 13, 2011.

Carolyn Trevis, Assistant State Negotiator with Minnesota Management and Budget talked about the Code of Ethics for Employees in the Executive Branch.

Dr. David Schultz, a Professor at Hamline Unversity and an expert in government, nonprofit, and business ethics, led the discussion on ethics and values, the relationship between personal and workplace ethics, the differences in ethics across sectors – private, non-profit, public sectors and in personal life.

When I had the interview with Woodbury Mayor Mary Giuliani Stephens on Monday, we touched upon this topic of ethics. I was surprised to hear that not only the Mayor doesn’t make a living wage, but she also has to pay for all expenses herself when she attends community events – buy her own event tickets and pay for her own transportation. Being a Mayor is like a full time job, but there is hardly any financial reward.

I knew there is a high ethical standard for the government officials and employees in the United States, but I didn’t realize it is so strict.

There is a popular (ironic) saying in China that the best place to be a government official is China. Being government officials and employees bring enormous financial rewards, directly through salary and benefits, but mostly indirectly through gifts and bribery.  The higher the position, the more power and rewards you enjoy.

If I tell average citizens in China what government officials and employees in the US can and can’t do, they would laugh and would not believe me. It’s unheard for them in China. Ethics as we know here hardly exist in real life in China.

When it comes to ethics in the public sector, the US and China are at the opposite end of the spectrum.

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Woodbury photo contest winners awarded

The winning photo with my daughter in the front yard of our house.

Accepting the certificate from Mayor Mary Giuliani Stephens. Thanks Kris Janisch from Woodbury Patch for the photo.

Yesterday evening I went to the Woodbury City Council meeting to receive the award for my photo “The Wonder of Autumn Leaves” that won honorable mention in the People category in the 13th annual Focus on Woodbury photo contest, sponsored by Woodbury Magazine.

First, second and third place winners in five categories, 8 honorable mentions and readers choice were awarded. The Readers’ Choice winner was selected by online voters.

Woodbury Mayor Mary Giuliani Stephens and Debbie Musser, editor of Woodbury Magazine, awarded the prizes at the beginning of the City Council meeting.

I would like to thank Woodbury Magazine for sponsoring the event and making it an easy process, and thanks also to City of Woodbury for their support.

The 2011 Focus on Woodbury Photo Contest Results are posted on Woodbury :

Reader’s Choice: Mother Fox and Kissing Cub by Beth A. Kuehlwein (61 votes)

Landmarks: 1. Woodbury Heritage House by Michael Dupont; 2. Country Sunset by the Oehlke Barn by Colleen Davis

Activities: 1. Little League Slide by Dianne Towalski; 2. Cricket-winning Moment by Nancy Pretty Sargunam; 3. Pitcher Perfect by Shannon Rode

Pets: 1. Explorations! by Janet Hartje; 2. Koi by Steven Shor; 3. Puppy BFF by Jessica Lloyd; Honorable Mention 1. Fascinating Red by Ilya Kravchik

People: 1. Watch Out by Sandra Stephens; 2. A Girl and a Flower by Cala Iverson; 3. Puppy Kisses by Kathy Weigelt; Honorable Mention 1. The Wonder of Autumn Leaves by Qin Tang; Honorable Mention 2. Brotherly Love by Amy Curnow; Honorable Mention 3. A Rainy Day by Cala Iverson

Nature: 1. Daybreak by Ben Ricker; 2. April Snow at the Wood Duck House by Tom Ziegler; 3. Ojibway Park Chorus Frog by Megan Jones; Honorable Mention 1. Coming in for a Landing by Nancy Ribeiro Miller; Honorable Mention 2. Purple People Pleasers by Shannon Rode; Honorable Mention 3. Reflections by Alison Schneider; Honorable Mention 4. Beetle Mania by Ron Long

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Leadership interview – Woodbury Mayor Mary Giuliani Stephens

This is the second in a series of interviews I am doing with established and respected leaders on the topic of leadership as part of my Emerging Leaders Institute (ELI) assignments.

Today I had the great pleasure of meeting with Woodbury Mayor Mary Giuliani Stephens who became the new mayor of Woodbury on January 12, 2011 – the 1st woman and the 5th in the city’s history.

Being a resident of Woodbury for over 10 years and being a loyal reader of the local newspaper, Woodbury Bulletin, for the same amount of time, I am familiar with the names of people who are active in the community – from city and county governments, school district and non-profit organizations to local businesses. I knew Mayor Stephens from a distance, through newspapers, but had never met her in person. So I was glad to have a chance to meet and chat with her in Central Park this morning.

Stephens is a lawyer by trade. She wanted to be a lawyer when she was in high school. But in her heart, she is also a volunteer, a community leader and a public servant.

Stephens’ leadership role started when she was at William Mitchell College of Law in St. Paul. She was involved in the Student bar Association.

During her 26 years of living in Woodbury, Stephens has been very active in serving the community through various organizations – Woodbury Jaycees, Woodbury Athletic Association, Woodbury Soccer Board, New Life Educational Foundation, Woodbury Prayer Breakfast, Woodbury City Council, Woodbury Community Foundation, etc.

Stephens’ life experience is a testimony of a servant leader.

When I asked her what the most critical attributes are to successful leadership, I was not surprised by her response: “Servant, humility and empowerment. Many leaders are driven and task-oriented. But relationships and being people-oriented are more important to successful leadership.”

I asked Mayor Stephens whom she admires as a leader, and why, she said her father and her husband.

“My father is an cardiologist and my husband is a lawyer. They both have successful careers and competency. But more importantly, they have characters and high integrity. They are trustworthy, authentic and likable. They act the way they are inside. They communicate well. They always want to do better, be better and learn more. They know how to set the priorities right – faith, family and work – and have a balance in life. My husband likes to read, write and teach about leadership skills. He is writing books on leadership.”

Stephens agreed with my comment wholeheartedly when I told her: “You are so blessed in every aspect of your life.”

“Yes, I feel very blessed and thank God every day. I have a very loving and supportive husband. He is behind me in everything I do – resigning from my partnership to spend more time with our children, running for the Woodbury City Council and Mayor. He provides the financial means for me to do what I love to do. I have two wonderful children. Now I have a grandchild and another one on the way. I love the job as the Mayor and serving the community. I am truly blessed.”

The Stephens worship at the Eagle Brook Church which just opened a Woodbury Campus at East Ridge High School last month.

“What are the hardest part of becoming a leader?” I asked her.

“Making and acknowledging mistakes. Being accountable for what you do. I know I don’t know everything and I am not good at everything. But I am surrounded by smart people. I make sure that I am open to other people’s opinion and learn from them.”

A word of wisdom from Mayor Stephens:

“Don’t let the low points in life frustrate you and discourage you from trying again. Don’t let the high points cause you to rest on your laurels and stop you from reaching higher.”

As I left our meeting, I couldn’t help but thinking that if everyone could set priorities right in life, his or her life would be really blessed, just as Mayor Stephens and her family have experienced in their lives.

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Leadership interview – Commissioner Spencer Cronk, part 2

For part 1 of the interview, check the previous post here.

February 8, 2011, the newly elected Governor Dayton appointed Spencer Cronk as Commissioner of the Minnesota Department of Administration. So Cronk is on the job as the Admin Commissioner for less than 8 months when we met for the interview on Monday, Oct. 3.

I was interested in getting to know some leaders in the state and local governments and learning some leadership lessons from them.

I did prepare in advance a list of questions I wanted to ask Commissioner Cronk. But we ended up having a very casual and free flowing conversation. Our conversation on leadership was mostly centered around the topic of what leaders do to connect with and engage their employees in their organizations.

I shared what Commissioner Tom Sorel has been doing at MnDOT in the last 3 years to engage and empower employees, based on my observations and experiences. Then as I was listening to Commissioner Cronk talking about what he had done or is doing at Admin, it became clear to me that he had already made some positive impact within his organization in the 8 months he has been on the job.

We came to the conclusion that to connect with and engage employees, the key ingredients to success are visibility, communication, participation and appreciation. A great leader is someone who is visible and approachable, who communicates effectively and keeps communication open, encourages participation and shows appreciation.

Let me share some examples Commissioner Cronk did to illustrate the points.

As a state agency, Admin provides a broad range of business management, administrative and  professional services and a variety of resources to other state agencies, local governments and to the public. Among its responsibilities, the department maintains 22 state-owned buildings, including the State Capitol. Admin has about 500 employees.  Some janitors work the night shift. Commissioner Cronk made the effort to visit those employees who worked the night shift in other buildings. He was surprised by the feedback he received doing little things like this.

Once a month, Cronk offers the opportunity of having ”Coffee with Commissioner” to employees who have birthdays on that month. That’s a great opportunity for him to have some face-to-face time with employees and hear their concerns and feedback. Employees have a chance to meet, talk and connect with their Commissioner. They feel heard and appreciated. It’s a win win for both sides.

Cronk sends out emails to keep employees updated regularly. Employees really appreciate his open and regular communication. It builds transparency and trust.

In the process of revising the mission statement, he sought employees’ input and involvement. Through participating in the process, employees feel valued and engaged. They are more likely to be committed to their work and working harder.

Commissioner Cronk’s leadership philosophy is servant leadership. He sees his job and his agency’s job as being a servant to others.

Our meeting time was up before we could get into the questions I prepared. Commissioner Cronk graciously agreed to get back to me with the Q&A. So more to come…

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Leadership interview – Commissioner Spencer Cronk, part 1

This is the first in a series of interviews I will be doing with established and respected leaders on the topic of leadership as part of my Emerging Leaders Institute (ELI) assignments.

Today I had the great pleasure of meeting with Minnesota Dept. of Administration Commissioner Spencer Cronk.

I first met Commissioner Cronk at the ELI opening ceremony at the Minnesota State Capitol on Sept. 15. He was one of the invited guest speakers. He appeared to me as both an emerging leader (judging from his youthful look) and an established leader (from his experiences and positions). I was impressed and intrigued. I wanted to know where he comes from and how he got where he is now. He is the first one I asked for an interview. I was glad he accepted my request. We met today in his office.

When I walked into his office, the first thing I noticed was how organized, tidy and uncluttered everything looked. I had never seen anyone’s office so nice and clean. When I made the comment and compliment about it, Commissioner Cronk jokingly said since he is only 8 months on the job, it is easier to keep things uncluttered. He challenged me to visit him again in a year to reevaluate the situation.

He did agree with my comment. He said he likes to keep everything organized and clean from clutter. He cleans up his email inbox and his desk every day before he leaves work.

What a nice trait to have as a person and especially as a leader! Being organized is the first step to being efficient. I know Commissioner Cronk is big on finding efficiencies in large organizations, creating a leaner, more cost-effective government that can do more with less, and developing more efficient processes that deliver better results for the public.

In today’s economy, citizens are living with less. The government should do the same.

I asked Commissioner Cronk about his background and life experiences. What he shared was very interesting.

Cronk grew up in Hopkins, Minnesota and went to Hopkins High School. His mother is from Jordan, Minnesota, and his father is from Minneapolis, Minnesota. So he is deeply rooted in Minnesota.

He graduated from the University of Wisconsin-Madison with a Bachelor’s degree in rural sociology with honors in 2002. In 2000, he spent his junior year studying and researching in Kenya, Africa. It was an eye-opening and life-changing experience for him. The experience in Africa taught him to look at the life and the world from a broader perspective. He also learned to appreciate more of what we have in life in the US.

After graduation, Cronk worked in Oakland, California for the National Community Development Institute. He was a Public Affairs Fellow with the Coro New York Leadership Center. While serving as Executive Director of Organizational Development and Senior Advisor for the Department of Small Business Services for the City of New York under Mayor Bloomberg’s Administration, Cronk also completed the Harvard University’s Senior Executives in State and Local Government Program.

After Cronk left his job with the City of New York in 2009, he spent a couple of months in Argentina traveling.

In July 2010, Cronk came back to Minnesota, to his roots. He felt he could make a bigger impact in his home state.

Cronk supported Mark Dayton in his campaign for governor. He believed in Dayton as a better leader for the state.

When Dayton won the election, he appointed Cronk to be the Admin Commissioner. Cronk brought fresh ideas and new energy into Dayton’s new administration.

Talents  and timing, preparation and opportunity all worked together in Cronk’s favor.

In a future post, I will share some of my questions and answers from Commissioner Cronk on leadership.

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Limit school lunch spending and waste

I once talked about school lunch, food waste in schools and limiting my kids’
spending on their school lunch in the article titled “More
healthy lunch, less messy lunchroom
.”

My kids knew they should not buy extras including desserts and soft drinks at
school. If they do that, I will simply put a limit on their account so they
can’t spend more than the amount for their regular lunch.

Yesterday I found out that my daughter has “forgotten” the rule. Since she
has just transitioned from elementary school to middle school, there was no
limit set on her account to prevent her from breaking the rule. She purchased
soft drinks and cookies several times in the last couple of weeks, because some
of her friends did that too.

When I called and talked to the cashier at school to set a limit on my
daughter’s lunch account, she said: “Good for you.”

I don’t like wasting food. I found the wasteful behavior in the school
lunchrooms terrible. Some kids don’t finish their lunch and throw a lot away.
They buy more what they like and throw away the stuff (mostly veggies and fruit)
they don’t like.

I know if I allow my kids unlimitd spending, they will buy more junk food and
waste more healthier food.

I don’t tolerate my kids’ wasteful behavior. At home, I make sure that they
eat everything they have on their plates. But I can’t control what they do at
school. However, through setting a spending limit on their account, I can
control their spending and thus preventing them from buying unhealthy food.

It’s important for me to teach my kids to be resourceful with our food and
money, and to be mindful with our environment. I want to do what I can to help
them build healthy eating habits and to keep the lunchroom from becoming a waste
site.

Posted in Health & Wellness, Kids, Living, Parenting | Leave a comment

10 unhealthy thinking patterns

What comes first, thinking or feeling?

What we think affects how we feel. If we have healthy thinking, we feel better. If we have negative thinking and self-talk, we will have negative emotions.

In a recent study on resilience, I learned about the following 10 unhealthy thinking patterns or thinking distortions. The research was pioneered by Dr. Aaron Beck, widely regarded as the father of cognitive therapy. It was later popularized by Dr. David Bums in his book “The feeling good handbook.”

  1. Extreme thinking (All-or-nothing thinking) – Thinking in absolute terms, like “always” and “never.”
  2. Overgeneralization – Taking isolated cases and using them to make generalization.
  3. Mental filter – Focusing on negative aspects of an event while ignoring the positive.
  4. Disqualifying the positive – Continually “shooting down” positive experiences for arbitrary reasons.
  5. Jumping to conclusions – Based on little or no evidence, mind-reading (assuming special knowledge of the intentions or thoughts of others), fortune telling (predicting without special knowledge).
  6. Magnification and minimization – Distorted thinking that twists facts, exaggerating the positive traits of others and magnifying your own negatives.
  7. Emotional reasoning – Decisions based on intuitions or personal feelings rather than on objective facts and evidence.
  8. Should statements – Thoughts focused on “should” or “ought to be” rather than reality, having rigid rules which “always apply” no matter what.
  9. Labeling and mislabeling – Explaining by naming with “absolute labels  (loser, bossy, shy, perfect, cheater, wishy-washy.)
  10. Personalization – Assuming responsibility foe events over which you have no control, magical thinking.

If we pay attention to what we think and how we self talk, we can recognize the unhealthy thinking that’s going on inside of us which affects how we feel.

If we want to feel better, we need to think better by making true and fair statements to ourselves to replace untrue or unfair statements.

 

 

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Governor Dayton’s puppy on Facebook

I am not a fan of animals, never a lover of animals, because I didn’t grew up with any animals in my family. Actually I get nervous around any living creatures that are not human beings. So I am not usually interested in animal related subjects.

But yesterday when I read in the newspaper about Governor Dayton getting a new puppy and the “Guess the Puppy’s Name” contest, I thought it was interesting.

Today I visited Governor Dayton’s Facebook page and also his existing puppy Mingo’s Facebook page. I found Mingo’s Facebook page more interesting and humorous.

Creating a Facebook page for their pets is a clever use of social networking tools for the elected officials. It adds a human dimension to the non human side of politics. It creates a bond between people from all walks of life, regardless of what position you have.

I had to “like” Mingo’s Facebook page even though I don’t really like animals. I even suggested the name “Paulo” for the new puppy.

Whoever maintains Mingo’s page does a great job.

Updates on 9/26/11:

The “Guess the Puppy’s Name” contest was over on the first day. Emily from Duluth correctly guessed the name of Governor Dayton’s new puppy - Itasca. She won a dinner with the Governor at the restaurant in Minneapolis owned by his two sons.

Here is the comment I left on Mingo’s Facebook page:

“I beg to differ. Itasca sounds girlish and a little long and hard to pronounce. I like “Paulo” better. The contest was a great idea. I wish your Dad had let the public suggest a name and then he would pick his favorite one from the ones suggested. A naming contest would be even more fun. The contest and the fun wouldn’t be over so quickly.”

I think Mingo’s website and the contest are not only fun ways to engage the public, but they are also great PR ideas. I wonder how many people like Governor Dayton more because they are animal lovers and like the puppies he has.

Mingo and Itasca might even win some extra votes for Governor Dayton if he runs for any position in the future.

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Living the traditional way

I did laundry today – 3 short sleeve shirts, 5 long sleeve shirts, 2 pants and 1 skirt.

I know you are thinking, what’s so interesting to write about doing laundry? A lot of people do laundries on weekends.

You are right. Doing laundry is a boring job. There is nothing interesting about it.

But as I was washing my clothes this afternoon, it dawned on me that the way I am doing it is something interesting and special, at least it’s not conventional – I hand washed my clothes and let them air dry.

I don’t hand wash all my clothes, only the ones that are more delicate or I like and want to keep them for longer time.

When I grew up, we didn’t have any electronics at home – no wash machine, no dryer, no microwave, no TV, no refrigerator. The only thing we had was a radio.

I remember we had to wash clothes in the river that was by our house, or drew water from the well to wash clothes.

Last year when I visited my hometown Suzhou, a very modern and prosperous city in China, I was surprised to see a couple of people still washing their clothes in the river (see the picture I took last year). What’s changed is the water is cleaner now that it used to be, and there are cars parked by the river.

I bought my mother a wash machine in 1989 when I returned to China for a visit from Germany. It was a rare commodity at that time. I needed a special ticket to buy it at a designated store in Shanghai. And the tickets to buy electronics such as TVs, wash machines, and refrigerators were only given to people who returned to China from overseas. The ticket itself could be sold for a lot of money.

To this day, my mother still likes to hand wash her clothes, usually small items. She uses the wash machine only for heavy and big items. What’s why the wash machine I bought her 22 years ago is still in good working condition.

Like my mother, I also like to hand wash some of my clothes. I don’t use dryer for most of my clothes. Especially in summer, I usually use clothesline and let everything air dry naturally.

I found that most clothes are not worn-out, but washed-out or dried-out, i.e., they are kaput because of using the wash machine and dryer.

I have clothes that I wear at work and clothes that I wear at home. When I get home from work, the first thing I usually do is to change my clothes. Because I take good care of my clothes, I don’t have to wash them all the time. When I wash the delicate and favorite ones, I do it by hand. As the result, my clothes always last a long time.

And I don’t watch TV. I also cook my meals from scratch every day.

So to some degree, I am still living the traditional way. That’s my choice. I like it.

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EXCO – new fall classes

EXCO: Where anyone can take or teach a class and all the classes are FREE!

What is EXCO? It stands for Experimental College. I wrote about it in a previous post.

Visit http://www.excotc.org for full class listings and to register, or click on the link from each class below.  Most classes will begin in late September.

Politics and Organizing
Questioning   Ourselves
Making Headlines, Making Change: Media Work for Social   Justice Activists
World War II: A Rich Source of Metaphor for our Time

Economics
Money, Society and the Spirit: Becoming Conscious About Money

Arts
Writing and Performing Political Theatre

How to Listen to and Appreciate Classical Music
Experiment in Collaborative Creativity.

Dance
House Dance Nation (Youth Only)

Belly Dancing

Building an   Earth Oven
Religion
Queer Theory and the Hebrew Bible

Philosophy
Introduction to Marxist Theory

Health and Wellness
Mind-Body Meditation

Expressions for Wellness & Effectiveness (EWE) Workshops

Gourmet Vegetarian: The Diet of Sustainability
Good Vibes: Energy Healing & Increasing Bliss
Languages
Kiswahili Discussion Circle

Navigating American Sign Language Access in Your   Activism
Bikes
Commuting by Bicycle at Sibley Bike Depot

Complete Bicycle Overhaul at Sibley Bike Depot   (September)
Humanities and Cultural Studies
Radical Parenting Art & Discussion Workshops

The Movies: Cultural Enrichment or Co-Dependence?
Indigenous Imperative: Native Thought and its Implications for Our Future

 

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Honorable mention

Today I received an email from Debbie Musser, editor of Woodbury Magazine, informing me that my photo – The Wonder of Autumn Leaves – received honorable mention in the People category in the 13th annual Focus on Woodbury photo contest.

This year, a total of 267 entries in the five categories were submitted for the contest which is sponsored by Woodbury Magazine.

First, second and third place winners in each category and 8 honorable mentions were selected, and online voters will select a Readers’ Choice winner. To vote, go to the website.

Prizes will be awarded at the City Council meeting on Wednesday, Oct. 12, at 7:30 p.m. Mayor Mary Giuliani Stephens will be awarding the prizes at the beginning of the meeting.

I was happy to receive the honorable mention. Even if I don’t win anything, I am still glad I participated. My interest and participation in the annual Woodbury Photo Contest dated back to 2005 when my picture of my son won the first place.

I am not a photographer or even an amateur photographer. I only use a so called idiot camera to point and shoot pictures. But I like participating in this community event. Being a winner of any kind is just an added bonus to the fun.

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Learning about Minnesota

Here is a summary of Day 2 at the Emerging Leaders Institute (ELI) on Friday, Sept. 16, 2011.

Annette Atkins, professor of history at Saint John’s University and the College of Saint Benedict in Collegeville, spoke on Minnesota history. In her presentation “Minnesota: a historical perspective,” Atkins made history quite interesting and alive, instead of just presenting data and facts. Atkins authored three books, one of them is Creating Minnesota: A History From the Inside Out (Minnesota Historical Society Press, 2007).

Tom Gillaspy has served as the Minnesota State Demographer in the Minnesota Department of Administration  since 1979. He presented on “Demographic change and Minnesota state government.” According to Gillaspy, Minnesota has been very successful in economic and population growth. Minnesota has one of the lowest poverty rate in the nation, and has higher income and higher home ownership. Minnesotans are highly educated.

Two past legislators, Dean Johnson and Margaret Anderson Kelliher, talked about leadership from their own experiences.

Dean Johnson is a former member of the Minnesota House of Representatives, and a former member, majority leader and minority leader of the Minnesota Senate. He is the only Minnesota Senator to have led both caucuses in that chamber, and one of only two to serve as both Minority and Majority Leader. He is an ordained minister in the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, and also a member of the Board of Regents of the University of Minnesota.

Margaret Anderson Kelliher is a former member of the Minnesota House of Representatives. She served as the Speaker of the Minnesota House of Representatives from 2007-2011. She was the DFL-endorsed candidate in the 2010 gubernatorial election, the first woman to earn major-party endorsement for a gubernatorial election in Minnesota.

Bill Landherr, Enterprise Learning & Development Manager at Minnesota Management & Budget, gave an overview of the 360 degree feedback assessment. Each ELI participant will do the assessment sometime in October.

 

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ELI at Minnesota State Capitol

The opening ceremony of the 2011-2012 Emerging Leaders Institute (ELI) took place in the Capitol Rotunda at the Minnesota State Capitol this afternoon.

The event started with welcome and opening remarks by Brenda Norman, Division Director of Minnesota Management & Budget (MMB), Lynn Anderson, Deputy Commissioner of MMB, Spencer Cronk, Commissioner of the Dept. of Administration, Cheryl Hennen, past ELI participant from Dept. of Human Services, and Bill Landherr, Traning Director of MMB.

Roseville High School Choir performed a few songs during the opening ceremony. We had a class photo taken afterwards.

Then our group of 30 participants were divided into two small groups for the first meeting. We introduced ourselves and talked about the purposes and goals of the program.

We ended the first day with a tour of the magnificent capitol building.

To view some photos, go to my Facebook.

 

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The brighter side of life

This morning as I was leaving for work, I found out that my 10 year-old garage door quit working. It could only go up about 10 inches high.

I tried to manually open it, but the double door was so heavy, I couldn’t lift a thing. I didn’t know what’s wrong and how to fix it.

Fortunately, I have a neighbor I can count on when I need help. I dialed Tracy and Dave’s phone number right away. Dave came over from his shower. He told me that one of the springs broke. He lifted the garage door up for me so I could get my car out and then let it down.

Tracy gave me the phone number for a local company that fixes garage doors. Later around dinner time, the repair man came. It took him 20 minutes to replace both springs. Now the garage door is back to work.

Thanks God that the garage door didn’t break at night or in winter. And thank God for having a wonderful neighbor who is always willing and happy to help.

Just a few weeks ago, Dave and Tracy helped my son get the lawn mower started and back to the working condition.

I am so thankful for having this wonderful couple live next door.

When life throws little or big things at me – broken garage door, having to buy a new instrument, problems at home and work, etc. - worries, anxiety, sadness creep in. Life gets weary and heavy. It’s the small acts of kindness from neighbors, coworkers and friends that can lift me up and make my life a little more lighter and enjoyable.

On a brighter side, I had a wonderful opportunity today at work to meet with three other 2011-2012 Emerging Leaders Institute (ELI) participants and three past participants from MnDOT. MnDOT Commissioner Tom Sorel, who is a strong believer and supporter for leadership and personal development, invited us to the meeting to get to know each other and send us off to the leadership and personal development journey that will start tomorrow with ELI. I am so looking forward to starting the program tomorrow.

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Mid-Autumn or Moon Festival

 

Tonight, if you look up at the sky, you can see a full moon.

Today is the Mid-Autumn or Moon Festival in China. It is a popular lunar harvest festival celebrated in China and around the world where Chinese live.

The festival is held on the 15th day of the eighth month in the Chinese calendar, which is in September or early October in the Gregorian calendar.

In  2008  the Chinese government declared this traditional holiday as a public holiday.

You can’t have a Moon Festival without mooncakes. Like the moon, mooncakes are round and they are also sweet. They symbolize togetherness and happiness. Families get together to celebrate the festival, enjoying the full moon and eating mooncakes.

Yesterday I had a potluck with a few Chinese friends. We saw each other in the church in the morning and decided on the spot to have a potluck to celebrate the Moon Festival together in the evening. Then we went straight to an Asian grocery store in St. Paul to buy mooncakes.

Our potluck celebration in Woodbury was not as festival as it would have been if we were in China, but we had the authentic mooncakes. And we enjoyed each other’s company and food.

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Reader’s choice for Woodbury Photo Contest

Submissions for the 2011 “Focus on Woodbury” Photo Contest are closed. Now it’s time to vote for your favorites. One photo will be selected as Readers’ Choice.

Voting goes from Sept. 9th – 30th.  You may vote for as many photos as you like once every day till Sept 30th.

I submitted three photos for fun.

As a contest participant, I have prejudice and wanted to vote for myself. But there are a lot of other photos I like too. It’s fun to look at all the photos submitted and vote for the favorite ones.

I really like this new process and format of submitting, viewing and selecting photos for the contest.

A few years ago, the Woodbury Photo Contest was mainly sponsored by the City of Woodbury. To participte in the contest, I had to get the photos printed, framed and delivered to the Woodbury City Hall. Winning photos were displayed in the Central Park. Selected photos were also published in Woodbury Magazine. But I couldn’t see all the photos submitted.

Now thanks to the technology and sponsorship by Woodbury Magazine, I could just sit at my home computer, select my photos, submitted them online, view all submissions and even vote for the Reader’s Choice photo.

That’s is quite an improvement. And it’s also more fun to participate.

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Woodbury Days Appreciation Party

The Woodbury Days Volunteer Appreciation Party took place this evening (Thursday, Sept. 8, 2011) at Carver Lake Park in Woodbury.

It was a party to celebrate the success of Woodbury Days (Aug. 26-28, 2011) and to thank Woodbury Days Council and board members and 160 volunteers who worked together to make Woodbury Days a success.

Photographer Tom Dunn took pictures at the Appreciation party as well as during the three day long Woodbury Days event. As a tradition, a group picture of volunteers was taken.

I hope to get a group photo from Tom and post it on this page in a few days.

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Getting rid of ants naturally

Every year in the spring or summer, some ants show up in my house uninvited, from nowhere. I usually spread some baking soda along the edge of the wall where ants are found. After a while they disappear. The trick works, easy and inexpensive.

Today I found some more tips on how to get rid of ants in the house naturally on the Dollar Stretcher website. I want to share the information and save the link for future reference.

 

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First school day photos

I like to take some photos of my kids on their first day of school. I think I have done it every year.

Today I got home earlier so I could surprise my kids and take a few photos when they got off the school bus.

To my dismay, they ran faster than I could point and click. They ran away from me and into the house before I could take any good photos.

I was not going to give up. I had to command them to come out of the house so I could take photos. They finally did, but they were not so happy to have photos taken, especially my son.

It’s getting harder to make them do things as they get older. But I will not give up taking their first school day photos. I plan to keep doing this ritual till they graduate from high school in a few short years.

Looking through the first school day photos and watching them grow over the years from kindergarten to high school in a few photos would be a nice thing to do later in life.

 

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Back to school, back to busyness

Tomorrow, the Tuesday after the Labor Day, is the first day of school in our South Washington Country School District 833. I am glad my kids will be going back to school, after three long months of summer break. So I am looking forward to it.

But back to school could also means back to busy activities and crazy schedule. Extra-curriculum activities and church activities resume after school starts. It could be hectic if I have to drive my son to one activity and my daughter to another in the same evening.

I try to schedule my kids for activities for which I can share carpooling with friends, so we can help each other if needed.

Our back to school craziness started today when my daughter felt she didn’t have what she needed for school tomorrow – a different violin or violin accessories. And she couldn’t find her violin book she used in last school year. She was really in a bad mood for not being ready with orchestra supplies. She said she told me about her violin needing some work, but I didn’t know it was urgent and didn’t take action. Now she was frantic.

I didn’t feel like going shopping for a new violin in the last minute and with my daughter in bad mood. But I did spent a lot of time reading online about buying violins and checking local music stores. I also talked to friends who know more about violins than I do.

Fortunately, we will be able to borrow one from a friend whose daughter is in the same grade/school as my daughter. Now she will at least have a different violin to use in the first few days of school until I figure out what to buy for her.

Today I felt that the busyness and craziness have already started even before school officially starts.

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Surprised and humbled

As I mentioned in my post Why do I blog?, part of the reasons why I blog are to express myself, to journal my day and my life events, to preserve memory for my children, and to share what’s on my mind.

So I  will write regardless if anyone else is interested in reading my blog. In fact I hardly know people who read my blog.

Certainly, it would be nice to have a big number of followers who subscribe to and regularly read my blog, or to have a lot of comments and feedback to my posts. But it doesn’t bother me if that doesn’t happen, because I know there are too many excellent blogs out there and I am in no position to compete with them for readers.

As long as my daughter reads my posts, I am happy.

Today when I clicked a referrer link, I was surprised to find my blog listed on a page that also includes blogs by those big name bloggers whom I recognize and admire, whose blogs I subscribe to and read regularly – Will Unwound, zen habits, The Personal Excellence Blog, Prolific Living, Tiny Buddha, etc.

The page titled Motivation, inspiration, productivity, minimalism, etc. is “the best collection of many famous and some less-known blogs on motivation, inspiration, personal development, productivity, life coaching, positivity, simplicity, minimalism, frugality, entrepreneurship, healthy living, blogging, etc.” I don’t know how my blog got on that page and who the creator Nishant Mishra is. His profile is in the Arabic language and I couldn’t understand a word.

It feels strange to see my blog listed in such a place. But I do feel honored and humbled to be on the same page with the other well-known bloggers. I don’t feel I deserve such an honor.

And I am thankful for Nishant Mishra who created the page. I love it. It includes my favorite blogs and covers all the topics I am very interested in myself.

I think this is a perfect opportunity to send my “A thank-you a day” note which I haven’t done yet for today.

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Wealth divides familes

Last night when I called my parents in Suzhou, China, a cousin from Shanghai happened to be visiting. I don’t even remember how long I haven’t seen him in person, it could be 30 years or more. I never met his wife. Now their daughter is expecting a baby. How time flies.

We chatted for more than an hour on the phone. It was mostly about families and relatives and the problems they are experiencing as the result of the housing situation in Shanghai.

My father, the youngest in the family, had four brothers and one sister (only one brother and one sister-in-law are still alive). They all had big families with 3-5 children. In our family, I only have one surviving older brother. But I have a lot of cousins in Shanghai.

The housing situation in Shanghai is very tough.  Often times three generations and married siblings live together under the same roof in a place that belongs to the parents, as it was the case with some of my cousins. Housing is so expensive, ordinary folks can’t afford to buy anything. It costs more to buy a house or an apartment unit in Shanghai than in most places in the US.

If you happen to live in an old crowded neighborhood that the government wants to redevelop, then you hit the jackpot.

The government pays you to move to the new apartment buildings. The units and the size you get in exchange for the old one depend on how many people are living in the old residence or registered on the old residence record. If you happen to have your name registered on the old residence record, then you are qualified to get a new apartment unit or the equivalent amount of money. In Shanghai it usually means you become a millionaire overnight.

Three of my father’s siblings used to live in the same old neighborhood that was redeveloped in the last few years. Some of their children (my cousins) were lucky to be living with their parents, because they all got new apartments or lots of money, while others who didn’t live with their parents got nothing or very little. Favoritism by parents and unfair treatment of siblings created such a tension between parents and children, and between siblings. Parents and children, brothers and sisters are deeply divided, some even stop talking to each other.

Because housing is so expensive, relocation is often your only chance to move to something better. Everyone is fighting for survival and for himself. I was told nearly all families who had to relocate experience similar problems. It happens in Shanghai, and all over China right now.

It’s a sad situation. But I think in the foreseeable future, things will get better, because there will be no more siblings to fight with each other. With only one child in most families in urban areas in China, they basically get everything from their parents.

However, China is also facing another big problem. It will be for a long time. The younger generation is so spoiled by their parents, they are very dependent.

My cousin told me that her adult daughter and her husband both work for the airline industry and make very good income. When they got married, both sides of parents paid for their housing, car, furniture, the expensive wedding and everything else to start the new life and family. Now the young couple can’t cook. They either go out to eat or go to parents homes to eat. They bring their laundry for their parents to wash, even though they have wash machine at home. My cousin and his wife go to his daughter’s apartment regularly to do cleaning for her.

I had heard enough of this kind of stories, I was not totally surprised, yet I was still surprised. I didn’t know what to think. A lot of weired and unbelievable things are happening in China. I was just concerned about the next generation and China’s future.

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A Thank-You a day

Today I went to Borders Bookstore to kill some time I had between dropping off and picking up a friend’s child for gymnastics. I knew Borders is closing the store in Woodbury and everything is on sale. I just wanted to look around and check it out.

I saw a book titled 365 Thank Yous: The Year a Simple Act of Daily Gratitude
Changed My Life
 by John Kralik. The author tells how writing a thank-you note a day changed his life.

It’s a simple idea and can be easily practiced. So I thought why not do it myself, starting today.

I had just visited Lake Middle School for the parent information night and met  some teachers for my two kids for the first time. Writing a thank-you note to the teachers is a good thing to do.

So that’s what I did after I got home from Borders.

I sent thank-you notes to three of teachers I met today, two for the first time.

As I am writing this post and thinking about writing thank-you notes now, I realized that I had already sent thank-you/congrats/best wishes kind of notes today and the day before. Actually I have done it regularly, if not daily, without thinking about it.

But starting today, I will definitely be doing it daily and more intentionally.

I know it’s good for our soul to be appreciative and have an attitude of gratitude.

 

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2011 Woodbury photo contest

Today I submitted three photos to the 2011 Woodbury photo contest.

The 13th annual “Focus on Woodbury” photo contest runs Aug 1-31. Entries are due by tomorrow, Aug. 31.

Woodbury Magazine is accepting submissions in the five contest categories: People, Nature, Pets, Events and Activities, and City Landmarks.

The contest is open to people who live, work or go to school in Woodbury. Entries are limited to three per person.

Winning photos will receive gift certificates to Woodbury restaurants and businesses, as well as the chance to be published in the Woodbury Magazine or city materials.

Residents also have a chance to view the photos online September 10–30 to vote for a favorite photo to be dubbed Readers’ Choice.

According to Woodbury Magazine, more than 330 photos were entered into the contest last year.

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Visiting Minnesota State Fair

I am not a fan of the Minnesota State Fair and the famous fair food, but I go to the Fair almost every year since I came to Minnesota in 1999.

In the first couple of years I went because it was new for me. And I lived in an apartment on Energy Park Drive in St. Paul, not too far from the Fair. I could get on a shuttle bus right across the street from my apartment.

In the next few years I went to the Fair to take my kids and parents there.

In the last few years I went to the Fair to volunteer at MnDOT booth and to check out my kids’ winning works on display in Education Building.

This year all four items they submitted won a prize. I was surprised that my daughter won the 1st place in needlework, 2nd place in poems and 3rd place in report. I was hoping that she would win the 1st place again in poems as she did in the last two years. But instead she won the 1st place in needlework she did at school.

My son won the 3rd place in poems.

It was fun to enter the State Fair competition. I just wanted to encourage my kids to develop some skills in creative arts, work harder and do their best by entering the State Fair competition and hopefully winning something.

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Time to volunteer

This week I will be busy with volunteering.

Last night I  attended the Woodbury Days’ Volunteer Meeting at Eagle Valley Golf Club House to receive my volunteer T-shirt and instructions.

Today I helped at my kids’ Lake Middle School during the Back to School event.

Tomorrow I will be at Minnesota State Fair and volunteer at the MnDOT booth.

On Saturday I will be at Woodbury Days and help at the Information Booth.

I have been volunteering at Minnesota State Fair and Woodbury Days for several years and enjoy doing it.

I like meeting new people and talking with people. Volunteering gives me the opportunity to go out and be somewhere with others. I often feel I receive more than I give when I volunteer.

 

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Are all produce at Farmers’ Markets grown locally ?

I love Farmers’ Market. In summer I often buy vegetables from the Farmers’ Markets in St. Paul or Woodbury to supplement what I have from my own garden.

According to the St. Paul Farmers’ Market website, “All produce must be locally grown. Value added products must be produced locally using local products. You are not allowed to buy and re-sell produce at any of our locations.”

But I have alwasy wondered about whether all produce are really locally grown. I saw vendors selling produce from neatly stacked cases in June when they are still in early growing season in Minnesota.

A few days ago I talked to the owner of a wholesale store in St. Paul. He told me he sells produce to vendors for resale at Farmers’ Markets, because our growing season is too short in MN.

I am not sure where the owner of the wholesale store gets his produce. I think it’s very likely that not all of the produce he sells are grown locally.

So if he sells his produce to the vendors for resale at Farmers’ Markets, it’s safe to say that not all produce are home grown by the vendors themselves. It’s possible that not all of the produce sold at Farmers’ Markets are locally grown.    

I don’t know the answer for sure. I am still wondering “Are all produce at Farmers’ Markets grown locally as required?”

 

 

 

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A wish came true

On Aug. 11, I was notified that my application to the 2011-2012 State of Minnesota Emerging Leaders Institute (ELI) was approved. I am one of the 30 state employees and emerging leaders from across state government who were selected to participate in this leadership development program, designed to help participants become successful and effective in the workplace.

Today I received the confirmation and welcome letter. The first session and opening ceremony will be on September 15th at the State Capitol Rotunda.

I feel very grateful for being accepted into the program. I am so looking forward to this great learning and networking opportunity.

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Retreat at Mount Carmel

Over this weekend (Aug. 19-21) I attended the Evangelical Fall Retreat sponsored by the Minnesota Faith Chinese Lutheran Church in St. Paul.

The retreat took place at Mount Carmel in Alexandria , MN. From Woodbury, it is 2 1/2 to 3 hours of driving. Mount Carmel is a great place for church retreats, family reunions and other events.

Our invited speaker is Dr. William Ho from Seattle. He talked about the signs of the end time and how to be a good father. He is the father of 4 amazing children who all entered university by the age of 14 or younger (one at the age of 10).

This was my first time to be at a retreat. I really enjoyed everything.

  • The nature – Mt. Carmel is a place with beauty, so peaceful and refreshing. It gives people a taste of heaven as Pastor Johan Hinderlie from Mount Carmel Ministries said.
  • The presentations by Dr. Ho – He is 72 years old, but his energy was amazing. He still travels on mission trips to China and around the world to preach.
  • The fellowship with Chinese friends – I got to know some people better. The testimonies were encouraging.
  • The church service – Pastor Johan Hinderlie’s sermont on Romans 12 titled New heart for new commands or “Donuts (Do not) and buts“ was short but powerful and memorable. He used a box of donuts to illustrate his points.
  • The boat ride – Pastor Johan Hinderlie gave us a boat ride on Lake Carlos.
  • The food – was tasty and healthy, with lots of salads and fruits. You get hot water, coffee, tea milk anytime you want. 
  • The convenience – Everything is close and within short walking distance.
  • The weather – It was perfect.

I posted more photos on my Facebook page.

For more info about Mount Carmel, contact (320) 846-2744 or info@MountCarmelMinistries.com.

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Tracking your flight status – live and free

If you are picking up someone from the airport and want to know the status of the flight - whether it has arrived or not – you can simply enter the airline and flight number in the Google search box.

For example, entering “Delta 1668″ will bring you the status information of the flight. 

But if you want to keep track of your flight – where it is at any given moment, FlightAware is the best website to use.

FlightAware can quickly and easily track a flight. It tells where in the air the plane is. The only information you need to do so is the airline name and flight number or the departure and arrival cities.

FlightAware provides live flight data, airport information, weather maps, flight planning, and navigation charts, as well as aviation news and photos. 

With FlightAware, you will never have to wonder when your expected flight will arrive. 

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Faith is …

“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” — Hebrews 11:1

Pastor James Baker, senior pastor of Peace Church Ministries in Mesquite, Texas, is the guest speaker at the Family Conference at Spirit of Life Bible Church this weekend. It was a great conference.

Today morning he talked about what faith is.

Faith is —

  • believing when I don’t see it
  • obeying when I don’t understand it
  • giving when I don’t have it
  • persisting when I don’t feel like it
  • thanking God before I receive it
  • trusting even if I don’t get it

 

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Become a future ready leader

My article Become a future ready leader (see below) was posted on the SLA (Special Libraries Association) future ready 365 blog.

Become a future ready leader

In the last few years, I have learned a great deal about what makes a great leader through intensive reading on leadership, attending workshops, interviewing leaders and witnessing a true leader in action. That leader is – Tom Sorel, Commissioner of the Minnesota Department of Transportation, where I serve as a librarian. I would like to share a few things I have learned.

Let’s start with the basics of what leadership is about.

In Leadership Challenge, authors James Kouzes and Barry Posner say leadership is not about position or title, power or authority, status or wealth, being a CEO, president or a hero. Leadership is about relationships. It is a relationship between those who aspire to lead and those who choose to follow. It’s about character and what you do.

The fact is, everyone can be a leader. You are a leader in some way even if you don’t hold an official title in the organization. You are the most important leader in your organization, in your family and your life. Learning leadership skills is everyone’s business. Leadership opportunities are everywhere.

To be a better leader and a future ready leader, we need to move away from the traditional leadership styles that are individual-centered and to a more relationally oriented style – transformational leadership, democratic leadership, servant leadership and collaborative leadership.

This new approach to leadership means rather than having a hero who tells us what to do, we need a servant who inspires us, empowers us and helps us do the work ourselves. Leadership is shifted from “power over” to “power with.”

A true leader is a transformational leader, not a transactional manager. A transformational leader helps his or her followers become self-empowered leaders and change agents. Transformational leaders can articulate vision and values clearly so their followers, the new self-empowered leaders, know where to go and what to do.

In The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, author John Maxwell says: “To lead tomorrow, learn today. Leadership doesn’t develop in a day. It takes a lifetime.”

Starting today, cultivate the following characteristics of great leaders:

  • Characters – “Leadership is character in action.” – James Hunter
  • Competence – Your emotional intelligence is as important as your IQ, if not more important. Hire people who are competent and smarter than you. “Competence is doing the right thing, the right way at the right time.” -Sheila Murray Bethel
  • Collaboration – Seek to forge alliances both inside and outside of the organization. “Including colleagues and constituents in decision-making and problem solving strengthens organizations and builds participants’ commitment.” – David D. Chrislip
  • Compassion – Create a caring, respectful, people-centered culture within your organization. “Take care of your people and they will take care of your business, not just because they have to, but because they want to.” – Lee Cockerell
  • Connection – Connect with yourself, connect with others personally, and connect to the world. Forging the bond between people can strengthen teamwork. “Leaders touch a heart before they ask for a hand.” – John Maxwell
  • Continued learning – All great leaders are lifelong learners.
  • Empowerment – “Only secure leaders give power to others. Leading well is not about enriching yourself, it’s about empowering others. Believe in people and give your power away.”  – John Maxwell
  • Humility –Have a humble spirit. Admit mistakes and learn from them. To be the best leader is to be the best servant. Choose service to others over self-interest.
  • Humor and fun – Don’t take yourself too seriously. Have a sense of humor. Laugh at yourself so others will laugh with you. Celebrate and make work fun.
  • Inspiring and motivational – “Leaders are to influence people and inspire people to act.” – James Hunter
  • Mentoring and legacy – “When you invest in others, you gain the opportunity to create a legacy that will outlive you. The best leaders lead today with tomorrow in mind by making sure they invest in leaders who will carry their legacy forward.” – John Maxwell
  • Openness and transparency – Openness in mind, heart, policies and dealings encourages curiosity, creativity and innovation.
  • Trust – Character and competence are the foundations of trust; trust is the foundation of leadership. When you believe in people, they will believe in themselves and rise to greatness.
  • Vision, purpose and values – “Leadership is getting people to want to do what you want them to do because they share your purpose, vision and values.” – Kevin Freiberg

Along the leadership development journey and in your practice as a leader, pay attention to the following pitfalls:

  • Having tunnel vision
  • Micromanaging
  • Demanding perfection
  • Having low self-esteem and confidence
  • Having emotional insecurity and immaturity
  • Making decisions based on emotions
  • Acting as a roadblock between upper managers and employees
  • Acting differently in front of their superiors and subordinates
  • Blaming others for failures and taking credit for others’ successes
  • Making assumptions without fact-checking
  • Reacting negatively to criticism.
  • Showing favoritism
  • Being rules-oriented rather than people-oriented

Learning about leadership skills from reading and attending classes is important; learning from other leaders is equally as important. Both good and bad examples can teach us valuable lessons.

But what’s even more important in this process is application and practice. We become better leaders by applying our learning, knowledge and experience to our everyday lives. To become better leaders, we must be willing to change and grow.

Wherever you are in your organization and in your life, start the leadership journey today with the first step. Be the leader you were created to be and be future ready.

Qin Tang is a librarian at the Minnesota Department of Transportation. After graduating from college in China, she studied in Germany for five years on a scholarship from the German Academic Exchange Service  receiving her MA in German. She came to the U.S. in 1991 and fell in love with libraries as she spent countless hours reading and using the Madison Public Library to learn English. She received her MLIS from the University of Wisconsin – Madison in 1994. Qin has worked in public, academic, corporate and government libraries. She was profiled in the March 2007 issue of Information Outlook - “A roundabout route to Minnesota”.  Qin is also a writer and blogger. Read her article “There is no place like the library” and connect with her via LinkedIn or Twitter @TangQin.

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The Healing Power of Water

My article The Healing Power of Water was published online in the August edition of The Edge.  A previous article on green living was published in the April 2010 edition.

The Edge is a monthly magazine published in Twin Cities that explores all aspects of
holistic living – the experience of living authentically, the integrative
approaches of complementary healing, eating consciously, the arts, metaphysics
and the intuitive arts, our integral connection with nature, spirituality and
the mysteries beyond.

I enjoy reading this magazine.

Here is my Aug. 2011 article in The Edge:

Every morning, the first thing I do, or before I eat anything, is to drink a glass of water. Ever since I read the book Your Body’s Many Cries for Water, by Dr. Fereydoon Batmanghelidj, several years ago, I make sure that I drink lots of water to avoid dehydration and to stay healthy.

Our body needs water to flush out toxins as well as to keep the system flexible, lubricated and running smoothly. But on some days when I am very busy, I either forget or don’t take time to drink enough water. The busyness of life gets in the way of doing what is good.

Getting my two kids to drink water is also a challenge.

“I am not thirsty,” they often respond to my request of drinking water, though I can tell from their dry mouth and dark colored urine that they clearly are dehydrated.

There are so many choices of drinks out there. Soda, juice or sugar drinks are all so much more attractive for kids than plain water.

I see dehydration as a common thread to our health problems as the result of our busy life and modern lifestyle.

Dehydration is mainly caused by not drinking enough water to replenish liquids lost from breathing, sweating and urination. Vomiting, diarrhea, blood loss and other illnesses and diseases can also cause dehydration.

What are the signs and symptoms of dehydration? Thirst, dry mouth, dark colored urine, dry skin, skin flushing, fatigue or weakness are some of the initial signs and symptoms of mild dehydration, when the body has lost about 2 percent of its total fluid. When the total fluid loss reaches 5 percent, the following signs and symptoms of dehydration can appear: decreased urination, increased heart rate, increased
body temperature, extreme fatigue, muscle cramps, headaches, nausea, tingling
of the limbs, etc. When the body reaches 10 percent fluid loss, it can cause severe dehydration with symptoms such as muscle spasms, racing pulse, dim vision,
painful urination, confusion, difficulty breathing, seizures, chest and abdominal pain and unconsciousness. Ten percent fluid loss and above can be fatal.

The average person loses between two and three liters of water a day through breath, perspiration and urine. For our body to function properly, we ought to drink at least eight glasses of water.

Don’t wait till you feel thirsty to drink water. By the time you feel thirsty, you are already dehydrated.

According to Dr. Batmaghelidj, a dry mouth is not a reliable indicator of dehydration. The body signals its water shortage by producing pain. Dehydration actually produces pain and many degenerative diseases, including asthma, arthritis, hypertension, angina, adult-onset diabetes, lupus and multiple sclerosis.

If you suffer pain or other illness due to dehydration, don’t expect your doctors to find the cause. What doctors usually do is to give you medication to kill the pain and treat the symptoms, not to find the cause of the problem and eliminate it.

Dr. Batmaghelidj’s message to the world is, “You are not sick, you are thirsty. Don’t treat thirst with medication.”

Healthy living starts with something as simple as drinking enough water. Our health is dependent on the quality and quantity of the water we drink.

Water has the power to heal the body and to sustain life.

Please do not let the busyness of life and the modern lifestyle get in your way of tapping into the healing and life-sustaining power of water every day.

Posted in Book, Health & Wellness, Living | Tagged | 1 Comment

Peace come from…

Peace is a precious gift. It’s priceless. You cannot buy it. Whether you have it or not does not depend on your social and economic status.

Where do peace come from? How do you stay calm and have peace in your heart and mind when facing troubles, trials, tribulations and tragedies that life inevitably throw at us?

In the book Listen to the Heart, author Bobbie Reed talks about the fruit of the spirit and where peace comes from.

Peace comes from

  • believing in God
  • staying close to God
  • doing good
  • knowing you’re where you’re supposed to be
  • letting go of fear
  • never giving up hope

Peace comes through trust.

Peace comes with forgiveness.

Peace is a choice.

Peace can be made.

Peace is experienced in the present.

I am so thankful for the peace I have. I don’t lose sleep over government shutdown, layoff, stock market crash, getting old, having troubles at home or at work. I have peace.

What a precious gift it is to have that peace of mind and heart!

May you have peace, have peace of mind, no matter what your life circumstances are and how big troubles, trials, tribulations and tragedies you are facing in life.

 

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101 ways to be a better person

If you are interested in becoming a better person, check out the Personal Excellence Blog by Celes and her post “How to be a better person: 101 ways.”  

Celes is also starting a new  “Be a Better Me in 30 Days” (30BBM) August 2011 Challenge.

Personal development is a life long pursuit. We should never stop working on ourselves, instead we should commit ourselves to working on getting better every day.

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The magic of face to face conversation

Nowadays email has become such a popular communications tool in the office, we talk less and less with our coworkers face to face.

More and more of our working time is spent on emails. We constantly write emails and respond to emails. We even email people who sit right next to us and can easily talk to. We can sit all day in front of the computer taking care of business via emails.

At the same time, our office phones are getting very quiet. When we call someone, there is often no response. The person we try to reach can be either out of office or busy and doesn’t want to answer the phone right now. Sometimes we can even get a response quicker when we communicate via email than via phone.        

Today I had to take care of some business at work that involves people in different offices. I needed quick response and quick action.

Normally I would use emails to communicate, but I didn’t want to email back and forth and wait for responses. When my calling didn’t get answered, I simply walked to a different floor and talked to the person face to face. We were able to get things clarified, questions answered, apointment scheduled and actions taken right on the spot within a few minutes. It was quick and efficient.

Afterwards I had a sudden revelation that face-to-face talk is still the most effective and efficient communications tool. How sad that we don’t do that more and instead let email become the dominant communications tool.

I am not against email. It is really effective in some situations, such as communicating with more than one person at the same time. All I want to point out is  don’t overuse email and don’t forget face-to-face conversation.

There is magic in the direct human contact.

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Raising sons

In the same book I talked about yesterday, ”Selected Studies from Proverbs” by Charles Swindoll of the Insight for Living Ministry, there is also chapter on “You and Your Son.”

Charles Swindoll describes 5 areas of teaching that are essential if our sons are to grow up to be honorable men of God.

Here is a summary of the chapter.

1. Teach him to stand alone

  • Teach him the importance of having biblical conviction and being willing to stand up for them – even when that means standing alone.  
  • Teach him what a good friend really is.
  • Teach him the consequences of wrong.

2. Teach him to be open to God’s counsel

  • Teach him to respond to our counsel. If he treasures our counsel as a child, then treasuring God’s counsel in his adulthood will be an easy transition.
  • Help him see the value of other people’s correction. If he learns to respect the correction of his teachers, coaches, grandparents and friends, it won’t be so difficult to respond to God’s discipline later in his life.
  • Share the experiences of our life with him.
  • Spend sufficient time counseling him. Our presence and availability will shape his personality and his future.

3. Teach him how to deal with temptation

  • Sexual temptation. 
  • Temptation to overindulging in food and alcohol.

4. Teach him how to handle money and the 4 basic areas of financial responsibility 

  • Giving – to God and to the poor. 
  • Earning – Learn a skill and make a living.
  • Spending – Spend and invest wisely.
  • Saving – Learn the importance of delayed gratification. 

5. Teach him the value of hard work

  • It’s a mistake to give to a child without allowing him to experience the value and reward of hard, diligent work.
  • Give him specific jobs to do around the home.
  • Help him find ways of earning money and sharing in the expenses of his education.
  • Help prepare him for living on his own.

I think most of these ideas also apply to raising girls.

Two additional ingredients mentioned in the chapter are constant delight and constant discipline. Our kids need to know that their parents care and delight in them so they won’t be discouraged by constant discipline.

Today I was listening to Dr. David Jeremiah‘s Turning Point Radio Broadcast from July 23, 2011 titled Children Need Cheerleaders from the series The Joy of Encouragement, he talked about 4 ways how parents can be better cheerleaders of their children, get off their back and get on their team.

  • Encourage them with focused attention.
  • Encourage them with individual affirmation.
  • Encourage them with genuine appreciation. 
  • Encourage them with physical affection. 

 

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Raising daughters

Raising kids is hard work.

Some parents say it’s easier to raise boys than girls, or vice verse.

For me, my daughter was easier when she was little. Unlike my son who cried a lot as a baby and always wanted to be held, my daughter was happy and content. She didn’t cry when she was put to sleep or woke up like my son did. What a relief for me.

But as Andy and Amy got older, both are teenagers now, I found my girl is harder to raise than my boy.

Andy is more mellow in his personality. When I ask him to do something, he often says: “Yes, Mom.” It’s easier to talk him into doing something.

Amy, on the other hand, is very strong-willed. When I ask her to do something, she often says: “Wait!” or “Later!” which can take hours, or worse, nothing will be done. She has been butting heads with me more which is frustrating for me.

Yesterday I asked Amy to clean up her room and put stuff away before she left for a trip. She refused to do it and was upset because I didn’t give her iPad back for recharging as she wanted. She cried and cried, and then cried herself to sleep before lunch time.

After lunch, she did pick up her stuff, but did so with an attitude, an attitude she often displays when I ask her to do something.

“Why do I have to do it?”

“Why, I have already done it.”  

If obeying your parents means do it right away, do it completely and do it with a good attitude, it means my kids have a long way to go to become obedient and I have a lot to learn as a parent to teach them obedience.   

If it takes a village to raise a child, I am one of the many who influence her life.

I so want my daughter to grow into a godly woman.

Today I was reading the book “Selected Studies from Proverbs” by Charles Swindoll of the Insight for Living Ministry. The book is also available on CD.

In the chapter on “You and Your Daughter,” Charles Swindoll describes what a godly woman is using comparison and contrast from Proverbs -

The wise woman vs. the foolish woman

The wise woman is constructive instead of being destructive.  

The gracious woman vs. the contentious woman

The gracious woman is accepting, appreciative, thoughtful, considerate, kind, compassionate, and loving.

The  virtuous woman vs. the sensual woman

The  virtuous woman has character and integrity, is trustworthy, diligent, committed, prudent, generous, strong, capable, excellent, and efficient.

The godly woman vs. the indiscreet woman

The godly woman fears the Lord, cultivates an inner beauty that’s eternal and not external, and has a gentle spirit.  

As a parents, I need to help my daughter realize the value of being wise, develop in her a caring spirit, cultivate the skills of her hand, teach her how to handle money and open her eyes to the blessings of hard work.

As a parent, I often feel overwhelmed by the responsibilities in raising my kids and inadequate in my abilities to do the parenting job. I do have a lot to learn and grow.

In my next post, I will talk about raising boys and share the tips from the same book by Swindoll.

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System glitch causes display problems

Dear Readers,

Lately due to a system glitch, this blog has experienced problems with correctly displaying the contents. I have notified Forum Communications – the company who owns the website Areavoices.com. Hopefully the problems will be fixed soon.

Thanks for your patience.

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First day back to work at MnDOT

After 20 days of the Minnesota government shutdown, I was contacted by my supervisor yesterday afternoon (July 20) to go back to work today.

The shutdown was over. The waiting was over. The anxiety was over. So was my homecation. I was happy to go back to work today. I got up early and left for work a few minutes early.

At the entrance of the Transportation building, I was, like every other employee walking in, warmly greeted by our MnDOT Commissioner Tom Sorel and his management team with a cheerful “Welcome back!” and a handshake or a hug. They had been waiting at different entrances shortly before 7 am when employees started to come in.

Coffee and donuts were available which added some bitter-sweet touch to the event.

Reporters from media were on site to report the event and interview people. Check out this MinnPost article MnDOT workers get a warm ‘Welcome back!’

Our office managers also handed out a hand written note from Commissioner Sorel to every employee. In the note, Sorel extended a personal welcome back and thank-you. He ended the note with “We are MnDOT!!” – a slogan and an initiative his management team created in the last couple of years.

“We are MnDOT”expresses the pride of being a MnDOT employee. “We are MnDOT” videos share stories about who we are, what we do, and what makes MnDOT great.

Later in the morning we had an office meeting to go through the checklist that the management team had worked on in the last couple of days to help employees ease back to work. Our office managers also expressed their personal welcome back and thank you.

Around 8 am, Governor Dayton stopped by at the Transportation Building to greet returning employees. At noon, he sent a thank-you note via email to all state employees.

In the afternoon at 2 pm, Commissioner Sorel and Deputy Commissioner Bernie Arseneau conducted a web cast for all employees. The web cast started with a “We are MnDOT” video. Then both leaders again welcomed everyone back to work. They shared what happened during the shutdown, talked about return to work checklists and resources, and how to resume business.

It sure felt good to be welcomed back at work and to be valued.

Thanks to Commissioner Sorel and his management team, I feel proud to be working for MnDOT and being a part of “We are MnDOT.”

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A time of rest and renewal

It’s the 19th day of the Minnesota government shutdown. Without doubt, the shutdownis a bummer to my pocketbook. It hurts financially. But to be fair, the forced time off is good for the body, mind and spirit. In our over worked, overwhelmed, and over-committed society, having the time of rest is a blessing. Instead of alarm clock, driving and traffic, staring at the computer all day long, to do list, deadline,stress, pressure, I can get up late,go with the flow, work in the garden, eat whenever I want, read, relax and take it easy. However, by the end of the day, I do feel a little bit guilty. The day goes by so fast,it feels likeI haven’t get anything done. Yesterday (07/18/2011) I heard Chip Ingram from Living on the Edge talking aboutGod’s Boundaries for Abundant Living. In his daily broadcast, he talked about silence, solitude and sabbath and why having Sabbath, a time of rest is good for us – so we can be spiritually refreshed, physically renewed, emotionally charged. A time of rest can protect our body from wearing out, give us time to slow down, to think and reflect, to recharge and recreate. It looks like today might be the last day of the shutdown. Gov. Dayton has called the Legislature into a special session at 3 p.m. today. Once the bills are approved and signed by Gov. Dayton,state employees will be called back to work. There will be some mixed feelings on the first day of back to work.

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A true leader shines in times of crisis

One fortunate result of the very tragic event of the I-35W bridge collapse in Minneapolis in 2007 was the leadership change at MnDOT.

Tom Sorel became the new MnDOT Commissioner in April 2008, replacing Lieutenant Governor Carol Molnau who was removed from her position as Transportation Commissioner by the State Senate in February 2008.

A true leader is often born in times of crisis. A true leader always shines in times of crisis.

Tom Sorel became the new leader at MnDOT during the crisis of the I-35W bridge collapse. Now he shines again during the current government shutdown crisis.

MnDOT has had three commissioners since I started working there in 2000 – Elwyn Tinklenberg, Carol Molnau, and Tom Sorel. I have nothing to say about the first two commissioners, because I rarely saw them and hardly knew them. I was never impressed by anything they said or did.

But the current Commissioner Sorel stood out in times of peace, and especially in times of crisis.

I have been impressed by a lot of things he did within the agency in the last 3 years. He is a servant leader who has humility and character.

The first thing Sorel did as the MnDOT Commissioner that impressed me was to change the org chart. In all the previous MnDOT org charts, Commissioner was at the top of the chart. But he added Minnesota citizens and then the Governor above his name as the Commissioner.

He is a leader who genuinely cares about employees. I was surprised, as everyone else at MnDOT, to receive a personal Happy Birthday message from Commissioner Sorel. Yes,the note was computer generated and he really didn’t write every single note to every employee. Nevertheless, his idea and thought touched people.

Last Friday Commissioner Sorel sent an email to all employees and encouraged all to write letters to him to express their thoughts about the shutdown and recovery to begin the healing process.

He is a leader who treats employees with respect. He always says that all MnDOT employees are leaders and ambassadors for the agency. And he truly encourage employees to be leaders.

He is a leader who connects and communicates well with employees. He joins employees in the annual Twins baseball game. He participates in meetings and events and makes himself visible and approachable. Before the shutdown, he made an effort to do webcasts or send emails regularly to give updates on the contingency planning.

He is a leader who inspires employees to be their best. He is not a micromanager. He trusts people and gives people confidence to do their jobs.

Servant leadership is Commissioner Sorel’s leadership philosophy and style. He has walked the talk and really set an example as a true servant leader.

Even though we are still in the shutdown crisis and there is a lot of personal and organizational challenges and work ahead, I am confident, we will recover quickly as an agency under Commissioner Sorel’s wise leadership.

MnDOT is better because we have a true leader who can lead not only in times of peace, but also in times of crisis.

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Shutdown frustration

The Minnesota state government shutdown is ending its second week tomorrow with no resolution in sight. It’s getting increasingly frustrating for everyone effected, especially the state employees. We didn’t expect the shutdown would last longer than two weeks. I started worrying about the financial consequences of the layoff. In the next few months I need to pay back money borrowed from a relative to buy the current house 10 years ago because she is in the process of buying a house herself. My van is over 10 years old. I just spent $300 for repairlast week and I need to save morefor a replacement in the next year or so. I have a coworker whose spouse also works for the state. Now they are both laid off. They are worried about mortgage, child support, etc. I even worry about the plants I left in the office. They will surely die if not watered after two weeks. I had them for years. They are part of my life. I don’t want to lose them. Adding to the frustration is the process of applying for the Minnesota Unemployment Insurance. The UI website is not a user friendly site, to say the least. Everyone of my coworkers reported problems and expressed frustration with the application process. We are information professionals and we used to help people find information. Now we need help to complete our UI application. I started my online application in June before I left for a trip, to get a head start. I even talked to a UI representative and was ok’ed to do so. Last week I was told that it was wrong and I had to changeit. But I couldn’tmake the simple change myself, they had to do it for me. A coworker checked a wrong box in his application, he couldn’t go back to uncheck it. The UI staff had to deletehis account and start fresh for him. This morning I logged in to my accountto request benefit payment. I had trouble completing it. I couldn’t even find my employer -State of Minnesotaon the employer list. When I called the UI for help, I got hung up 5 times with the message: “You needa touch tone phone to use the system” even though I do have a touch tone phone and I just used it last week to call.Finally I tried my cell phone andI got talk to a live person after two attempts. Since I applied for UI in June, I got close to 10noticesfrom the UI. I was told that they were system generated and I should just ignore and discard most of them. This was just a small example of the waste and the loss of resources as the result of the government shutdown. Think about the local restaurantsand other type of small businesses in St Paul or other locations that lost a lot of customers who are state employees. I read the other day in the paper that the Farmer’s Market in downtown St. Paul lost a great deal of business due to the shutdown. Think about the contractors and vendors who depend on state businesses. In this shutdown game, everyone loses and no one wins. Our elected officials need to work together, stop being childish and silly, give up some of their own agendas in order to reach the compromise and gain the result forthe common good. The news about our government shutdown was reported in the local newspaper in my hometown in China. A few days ago when I called and talked with my brother, he laughed with unbelief about what’s happening here in the US. He couldn’t imagine that any government in China would shut down like this.

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A bullying experience

During the school year, the topic of bullying comes up quite often in emails from schools or school district, or in projects my kids do for class. I never paid much attention to it. Because in my mind, it’s not something I need to worry about. Whenever I ask my kids whether they are bullied by others at school, they always say no. My kids are good students. They have never caused any trouble at schools. Their teachers always comment that they are great students to have in class. So I never thought they would bully others. But on Monday I witnessed something that made me pause and think about bullying from a new perspective. On Monday my kids started a middle school camp provided by our school district. There is bus pick up and drop off at Middleton Elementary School. Because of the state government shutdown, I am out of work and am able to drive my kids to and from school for the camp every day. I also provide rides to two other friends’ kids. On the first day as we were leaving the school parking lot for home, the boys noticed that one of the campers they knew from previous class was riding home on his bike. They called his name from the van and started laughing at him. That made me uncomfortable. Suddenly I realized that it was a kind of bullying, even though they didn’t do or say any nasty things. But what they did could make the boy feel uncomfortable. “Stop it, boys!” I told the laughing boys immediately, “This is bullying. You are making him uncomfortable. Instead of laughing at him, you need to respect him more for what he is doing. He takes care of himself and is more independent and courageous than you are.” And they stopped their laughing right away. Honestly I respect the boy more for his independence and courage to take care of himself without relying on his parents providing transportation. It doesn’t matter whether he chose to bike willingly or had to bike because his parents couldn’t drive him. Learning to be independent and responsible at an earlier age help build character and develop resilience. Back at home, I reminded my son again that it was wrong to laugh at the boy. He said he didn’t start it, but it didn’t matter. Even if he didn’t start it, it was still wrong to be a willing participant or a spectator who did nothing to stop bullying. I realized through this experience that bullying among kids are more common than I thought. I should pay attention to not only whether my kids are victims of bullying but also whether they bully others. Yes, I knew my two kids fight with each other and bully each other often at home, but I didn’t realize that they could be bullies at school as well. It’s a wake up call.

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Unwarranted complaint

The other dayI felt very embarrassed by making an unwarranted assumption and complaint. I receive quite a few emails every day, including several e-newsletters and blog posts.Usually I don’t have time to read them all. Based on the subject headings, I open and read some of the messages and ignore the rest and leave them unopened. While I was on vacation in San Diego, I received an email notice from WAA regarding the WAA basketball registration for the 2011-2012 season dated June 28. I didn’t give it much thought and attention at that time. Last week as I went through some of my old emails, I reread the WAA message. To my dismay, I noticed that”Fees increase on July 1, 2011.” Because I didn’t receive any previous notice regarding the basketball registration date and fee increase, and the June 28 notice didn’t indicate that this was the 2nd or 3rd or final reminder, I assumed that it was the only notice sent out by WAA. I was not too happy about the short notice. I wish I could have more than two days of advance notice to register. As someone who is not shy of making comments and giving feedback, I sent a quick reply email to WAA without much thought: “You didn’t give us much time to register before the fee increase.Basically only two days of advance notice. Sorry I was out of town and missed it.” After I hit the send key, I felt uneasy. I wish I had not sent it or at least said it in a nicer way, not so accusatory. The next day I got the response from WAA: “There were six weeks to register, that email was the third notice sent.” Now I felt really embarrassed for making assumptions and unwarranted complaint. Just because I didn’t receive the previous notices didn’t mean that they didn’t exist. I shouldn’t have made the assumption and judgment so quickly. I had to apologize with a follow-up email. I wish this email exchange never happened. ButI learned a valuable lesson. Before I criticize or complain about anyone or anything, I need to check the facts, and not make assumptions based on my own observation and limited knowledge. Otherwise I will make a fool of myself.
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Motivated by competition

In summer 2005, my 7 year old son Andy started selling golf balls inour backyard facing the Eagle Valley Golf Course. He did that in the following summers as well. At the beginning, Andy was excited of selling golf balls and making some money. He could make a few hundreds a summer. But every year, he gets less motivated. Last year, he only did it a few times thatI could count on one hand. I always ask Andy to divide the money he earned and save part of it for college, put some in the savings account, leave some for giving, and have the rest for spending. He said because I didn’t let him buy whatever he wanted, he was not interested in selling any more. That could be part of the reason. But in my opinion,that’s not the main reason. I think he gets bored of doing it as he gets older. This year, half of the summer is over and he hadn’t shown any interest in his old business until yesterday when he saw three neighbor boys had a golf ball stand in our backyard and were playing and selling golf balls. This morning Andy went to the basement and got his golf balls organized. Afterward he resumed his business. I think my son is certainly motivated by competition. I was reminded of an incident a few summers ago. Andy hadn’t been interested in doing business for a while. Then one day when we got home and he saw a neighbor girl was selling golf balls in her backyard facing ours, he got excited. He run to the basement and set his golf ball stand out on the opposite side of the girl’s stand. He thought it was fun. To his surprise, our neighbor family was not amused and happy by his action.They moved her stand a few steps ahead of his. Later in the evening, the girl and her mom knocked on our door. We didn’t have contact as neighbors, so I was surprised to see mother and daughter at our front door. The mother complained about my son’s action.She told me that it was not fair that my son took his stand out when her daughter was already out there with her stand. He shouldn’t have competed with her daughter. I wasn’t sure what to say. I apologized. Later that evening, I wrote a long letter to the mother. First I apologized for what happened. I promised her that we would honor her request and my son would not sell golf balls again whenever her daughter is out there selling her golf balls. But I also pointed out that she needed to face the reality of competition. Competition is part of life. It is motivational for some people. In the letter I also pointed out that she really had no right to tell us what we could do or not doin our backyard. My son could sell golf balls whenever he wanted on our property, regardless of who else was also doing it. I welcomed her daughter joining my son selling golf balls at the same time if she wanted to. I didn’t think that parents should get involved in the business of their kids. They are doing it for some fun and making some money. It’s fun to have company and some competition. It’s motivational. Why should parents get involved and make it so seriously? My son hasn’t been very interested in his golf balls business again. As promised, he never takes his stand out whenever the neighbor girl is out there. That was an interesting experience. Today on his first day of business this summer,Andy made over$20. He was promised that he can spend his money in China when he goes on the trip in a couple of weeks.

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Societal evolution

I have been reading a book on leadership titled “A new breed of leader: 8 leadership qualities that matter most in the real world” by Sheila Murray Bethel. In a section about wisdon from the past, the author talks about John Alexander Tyler who wrote about democratic societies’ evolution in the mid-1800s. I found the following description on societal evolution very interesting. SOCIETAL EVOLUTION The average longevity of formerly great civilizations was about 200 years… and each of them passed through the following evolution: From bondage to spiritual faith, From spiritual faith to great courage, From courage to liberty, From liberty to abundance, From abundance to selfishness From selfishness to complacency, From complacency to apathy, From apathy to dependency, From dependency right back to the bondage where it all started. How far along this cycle have we moved? Are we somewhere in the abundance-selfishness-complacency-apathy phase? What do you think?

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My trip to San Diego and Las Vegas

I have been living in the US for 20 years and traveled to both east and west coast states, but never been to San Diego and Las Vegas. So it was nice that my family got an opportunity to travel and spend 10 days in both places. To summary the trip – I really like San Diego, but not Las Vegas. If I have to rate both cities as the best/worst place for living,on a scale of 1 (worst) to 10 (best), I would give San Diego a “9″ and Las Vegas a “2.” San Diego is a beautiful city with perfect weather. Every day it started cool in the morning and ended cool in the evening, but the sun always shined brightly during the day. It didn’t feel hot, but surprisingly my kids got sunburns. In San Diego, we visited Gaslamp Quarter, Seaport Village, USS Midway Museum, Coronado Island and the famous Del Hotel, Balboa Park (my favorite), Zoo, andSea World. Balboa Park is a must-see San Diego attraction.The Park is the nation’s largest urban cultural park. It’s home to 15 major museums, renowned performing arts venues, beautiful gardens and the San Diego Zoo. The gardens in Balboa Park are my favorites.I visited about 10 gardens – Alcazar Garden Botanical Building Cactus Garden Casa del Rey Moro Garden Desert Garden Marston House Garden Palm Canyon Rose Garden San Diego Zoo Botanical Collection Zoro Garden The Spanish Village Art Centeris also very unique and beautiful.Over 30 artists have their studios in one location. You can talk to the artists and see their works. I talked tothe Chinese painter Lucy Wang (Studio 4) and sand artist Mary Renner (Studio 16A). Watching artists at work was eye opening. From San Diegowe drove to LA to visit a friend and stayed overnight. The next morning we drove to Las Vegas. I found Las Vegas kind of boring and soulless. However, the hotels and casinos were interesting to visit. They are big and unique. To get discount show tickets, we went toa time share presentation.It was interesting to see how sales people trying to sell time share and to learn a few new things, such asRCI -the world’s largest timeshare vacation exchange network. I posted some photos from the trip on my Facebook.

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Generosity begets generosity

I just came home from a 10-day vacation to San Diego with a side road trip to Los Angles and Las Vegas. On my flight home from San Diego on the 4th of July, I had a really brief and insignificant conversation with a Delta flight attendant. But somehow it taught me a lesson and stuck in my mind. So I would like to share. On my Delta flight to San Diego 10 days ago,guests were asked and given the choice of either having a tiny pack of peanuts (weight 0.42 oz.) or a pack of Biscoff (two small cookies). But on my flight back, I noticed that the flight attendant didn’t ask anyone for his/her choice. He automatically passed out three items to everyone – peanuts, Biscoff and mini pretzels. I was impressed by this male flight attendant’s generosity, or Delta’s generosity on this 4th of July holiday. So when he came to my seat, I had to make a compliment. I said: “Thank you for being so generous today!” He was surprised by my compliment. So I explained why I said so. He told me that on their morning flight, they give out less because they have to save for the afternoon return flight. Now he had a lot left. “Heck, why shouldn’t I give out more? I hate it when someone asks to have both peanuts and cookies and a flight attendant says no.” I said “Thank you” again. Before he turned away from me to serve the next customer, he asked me:”Would you like to keep this can of tomato juice?” Nowadays whenflight attendants serve drinks, they usually pour you a small cup, but not give you a whole can. I guess my compliment of his being generous prompted him to be more generous. Isn’t thata simple example of what it means”Generosity begets generosity?” When you do something for another person who expresses appreciation in return, you will want to domore for him.

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Talking to strangers

“Don’t talk to strangers!”

This is a phrase that’s often heard in our society. We tell our kids not to talk to strangers for safety concerns. As adults, we usually don’t talk to strangers because we are conditioned not to talk to strangers except for “Hi” and “Bye,” or we do so for privacy concerns. As a kid I was very shy. I didn’t talk much, even at home. My father is a man with few words. I probably never talked to strangers. But somehow things have changed over the years. I can’t pinpoint to what caused the change. I just noticed in the last few years that I enjoy talking to people, even strangers. I have an inquisitive mind and like to know what people do and think. It doesn’t feel so natural and comfortable to me to be around people in close proximity and people don’t talk to each other. I often take the initiative to start a conversation. On a recent flight to San Diego, I sat next to a man in his sixties. He came on board the last minute. I jokingly said to him when he walked toward his seat next to me: “You are a last minute person.” He didn’t say anything, maybe he didn’t hear me well. He started dosing off after he took the seat. I was quite disappointed to have a seatmate who was not talktive. So I focused my attention on reading the travel book about San Diego I had with me. Half way through the flight and after a drink and pretzel snack for refreshment, my seatmate finall awoke and became fully alive. He asked me what I would be doingin San Diego. I was happy to talk. So we chatted. He told me his son is a Delta pilot, that’s why he can fly for free, often boarding the plane at the last minute when there are free seats left. When he said he is a coach and speaks at Christian camps around the country, my interest peaked. Questions started flooding my mind. I learned that he is Len Marinello, Coachfor Christ. He speaks at Camps Farthest Out.He just finished a camp meeting in Iowa. Camps Farthest Outstarted in 1930 by Glenn Clark, a coach and professor at Macalester College in St. Paul. Now it’s an international organization with camps around the world. In addition to faith, Camps Farthest Out, we also talked about books,kids, San Diego, etc. Time flies by really fast when you enjoy a conversation. Before we departed, Len prayed for me. He also gave me a booklet “The Lord’s Prayer” by Glenn Clark. He said he would take me sight seeing in San Diego had he not have to leave the town again the same evening or early next morning for another camp meeting. I was so glad I talked to a stranger. Yesterday eveningas I was walking along the Harbor Island Drive enjoying San Diego at dawn, I talked to a guy who was video recording the San Diego downtown scene. He is from San Jose. He told me about his Youtube videos of San Diego sunsets, pointed out the landmarks in the area and recommended his favorite local seafood restaurant. A few minutes down the road, I talked to a couple who a few months ago sold everything they owned including the house and moved to San Diego to live on the boat. I asked them how it was to live on water. We enjoyed a nice conversation about living and life. When I walk away from conversations with total strangers, I often feel happier and inspired, because I always learn something new from people. I for sure am not afraid of talking to strangers and I will not stop talking to strangers. Check out another realted post: Privacy for a price

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Home exchange for low cost traveling

With a potential Minnesota state government shutdown, state employees are thinking of ways to cut down cost and use the extra free time wisely. A colleague shared with me a website she has signed up for home exchange and low-cost traveling. HomeExchange.com is an online tool for home swap. It provides an opportunity to “make yourself at home… anywhere in the world” and to “live like a local, not a tourist.” Currently there are 40,000+ listings in 142 countries. HomeExchange.com is not a free service. Paid membership is required for listing. There is a$9.95 monthly fee. Exchange is guaranteed or your 2nd year is free. If you enjoy traveling and like to travel a lot. It might be beneficial to join.

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Yahoo your writing

I have been using Yahoo for my private email for more than 10 years. I found I can not only use Yahoo to send and receive emails, I can also use my Yahoo e-mail account as a quick and convenient writing tool. When I have notes to write down, when I want to copy something from the Internet and save it for future use, when I want to keep a list of e-mail addresses or useful websites, I compose a message in Yahoo and save it as a draft. I keep some messages permanently in the draft folder, because they contain information I use regularly. Others are deleted when I no longer need them. I can access my Yahoo account and the information I saved wherever I am as long as I have Internet access — at home, in my office, in libraries, at conferences, etc. It’s more convenient than having the information saved on any computer’s hard drive. I also have a Google Gmail account,but since I started with Yahoo email first, I use it exclusively. For the tips I am sharing here, Google Gmail works too. Whether you Yahoo or Google your writing, it works the same way.

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Morning walk, nature talk

On days I don’t go to work, I enjoy taking a walk in my backyard when I have time.

I always start with walking a circle around my veggie garden to check how things are growing. 

My Chinese chives come out every year in spring and are always the first thing ready for the dinner table. Romaine salads grow pretty fast and are usually ready for consumption in a month. My zucchinis are still in baby stage. But they grow fast and can change size day by day. However, with the cold and rainy weather lately, things can slow down. 

After my walk around the garden, I take a little walk around the golf course.

Walking and immersing in nature, looking at the greenery and flowers, hearing birds singing, breathing in the fresh air, feeling the breeze of wind and the positive energy, it’s absolutely gorgeous. The beauty, peace and serenity can’t be put into words.

“A picture is worth a thousand words.” So I posted here some pictures from my morning walk to share with you. Let your mind take you for a nature walk.

More photos can be viewed on my Facebook page.

Posted in Gardening, Living, Photos | Tagged | 4 Comments

Learning about miniature gardening

I love gardening. So when I saw a gardening demonstration and swap event announcement in the local newspaper, I wanted to go.  I didn’t even pay attention to the specific topic. 

The event, held on Saturday, June 18 at the R.H. Stafford Branch Library, was really interesting. I didn’t know what to expect, but was happily surprised to see three miniature or fairy gardens on display when I walked into the room.

Ginny from the Library demonstrated how to create miniature gardens including a Japanese Zen garden.

Attendees brought plants divided from their own gardens, gardening books and magazines, and other gardening related materials to swap.

I went home not only with some new knowledge about gardening, but also with a few plants for my garden.

I wish I had brought my camera to take some photos of the miniature gardens on display.

If you want to see what miniature gardens look like, check out this blog post 20 outstanding miniature gardens.

More photos of miniature gardensfairy gardens or Japanese Zen gardens can be found on Google images website.

Ginny is starting an email distribution list for garden enthusiasts for future gardening events and swaps. If you are interested in sharing gardening ideas and plants, let me know, or simply leave a comment here.

Posted in Living | Tagged , | 2 Comments

Minnesota women legislators

If you ever need information on Minnesota women legislators or Minnesota state laws affecting women since 1920, a new website with the Minnesota Women’s Legislative Timeline and Minnesota women Legislators Past & Present can be very handy.

The interactive online tool was created by the Legislative Reference Library of the State of Minnesota and the Office on the Economic Status of Women, funded by a grant from the Minnesota Historical and Cultural Grants Program.

The timeline features  state laws that were significant milestones for women in the state of Minnesota and shows the legislative progression of women’s rights in Minnesota since women earned the right to vote.

For more info, check out the press release or contact Robbie LaFleur, Director of the Legislative Reference Library,  at robbiel@lrl.leg.mn or 651-296-8310.

 

 
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Closed during shutdown

There are 15 days left to a possible state government shutdown in Minnesota.

Today Gov. Mark Dayton filed a petition in Ramsey County court with his recommendation of what to keep open and what to close if state government shuts down on July 1.

Gov. Dayton suggested that 13,250 people, about one third of state employees, remain on the job in a government shutdown to provide critical services, such as police and prison guards, disaster and public health response, medical assistance and tax collection.

The petition recommends that 29 state agencies retain minimal staffing while 46 close entirely. Agencies that would keep the most workers in a shutdown are Human Services, Corrections, Public Safety and Veterans Affairs.

As for the Department of Transportation where I work, only 217 workers out of more than 5000 employees will keep their jobs, according to the recommendation. They work in areas of emergency highway repair, aeronautic navigation, emergency communication networks, and truck permitting.

The other services performed by over 4000 employees are deemed non critical.

When you travel on Minnesota highways during the shutdown, be prepared that the rest areas on highways will be closed. Remember to bring your own device or find a restaurant to do your business when nature calls.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Highway construction projects will be put on hold.

Sorry for the inconvenience. 

Let’s hope that no tragedies, big or small, will happen during the shutdown.

Sorry we are closed for business.

Hopefully our governor and the Republican legislative leaders have  worked out a budget deal by June 30 to prevent any inconvenience, tragedies and hardships from happening to anyone.

For more info on what Gov. Dayton wants to keep open and close in a shutdown, visit this post by Don Davis.

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The heavy cost and burden of a government shutdown

Last Saturday I got my layoff notice from the Minnesota Management & Budget dated June 10, 2011.

I am just one of about 42,000 state workers who got the letter in the mail with the bad news of the impending shutdown effective July 1, 2011.

But the effect of a possible shutdown reaches far beyond the 42,000 state workers.

I heard that just from MnDOT alone, over 6,000 certified letters were mailed out to contractors and vendors to inform them about the possible shutdown. (The number increases to over 10, 000 in the next week)

Yesterday I was talking with someone from my church about the government shutdown. She told me that her business that provides technical training has already seen the negative effect of the possible shutdown because no new students are enrolling in the program due to the uncertainty with the state aid situation.

I know managers at state agencies have been heavily involved in contingency planning in the last few weeks. State workers are worried about their jobs, insurance, payments, etc. The uncertainty has caused anxiety and low productivity.  

The cost of preparing for a possible government shutdown, both visible and invisible, is hard ot measure. For sure, it is a costly process.

It seems like a waste of money at a time when we should be more resourceful.

In preparation for the layoff, I applied for unemployment benefit today as suggested by the union. I hope I do not have to use it.

Whatever happens in July is out of my control. I can’t do anything about it, so I won’t lose any sleep over it.  

I am glad that I have lived my life with the principle of  saving for rainy days so I don’t live from pay check to pay check. If I have to depend on my biweekly check to survive, then I would be in panic mode now.

But I do worry about my family’s health insurance. Without my job, we will have no health insurance.

I can feel the heavy burden that a possible shutdown has on people and see the Domino effect it has on businesses.

I support Governor Dayton’s balanced, compromise plan which protects our families and communities from devastating cuts.

I hope our Democratic Gov. Dayton and the Republicans who control the state House and Senate can reach an agreement before July 1 to avoid a shutdown. Each party has to give up something and make some compromise in order to get the budget resolved.  

My way or highway is no way to go.

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Fresh from the garden

  

Saturday was a perfect day for gardening and weeding.

The soil was still soft from the rain, the temperature was cool and there was no hot sun beaming down in the morning.

Working in the garden, weeding, transplanting and picking fresh salads, and working on the flower beds in the front yard was what I did in the morning.

Gardening is relaxing and therapeutic for me. I could spend all day doing it, without getting bored. Only my back won’t like it so much.

After a few hours of work, I rewarded myself with a big bowl of Romaine salad and cilantro. It was great to be able to pick my own veggie from the garden and eat it whenever I want.

The following two articles are from my Woodbury Bulletin columns.

The joy of gardening  

Lessons, garden style

Posted in Health & Wellness, Living | Tagged | Leave a comment

5th grade recognition at Middleton

My daughter is graduating from the Middleton Elementary School.

The 5th Grade Recognition ceremony took place at school this afternoon. I was glad I was able to attend, having to skip the afternoon part of an all day conference I attended.

Middleton Principle Julie Nielsen welcomed everyone. My daughter along with several other 5th graders performed the song “Fireworks” by Kate Perry.

Students who participated in extracurricular activities during the school year were recognized and stood up.

Each 5th grade student was called by the classroom teacher and presented with a recognition certificate by the Principal.

Then we watched a DVD presentation of photos of the graduating classes. Each student will receive a copy to keep.

The event ended with a closing remark by my daughter’s teacher Ms. Angie Schock. She is the funnest teacher we ever had. Everyone loves her.

PTA provided refreshments following the ceremony.

It was a great and memorable event.

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Memorable birthday cards

When my kids have birthdays, I always make my own cards for them. Likewise, they always make their own cards for me as well. We love doing that.

For my son’s last birthday in May, I made one that includes:

  • A photo of the birthday child and a happy birthday picture cut out from a used birthday card on the cover.
  • “Celebrating 13 years of life” along with some important data on page 2 – exact birthday place and time, the home address at the time of birth and the current address, birth weight and height, the current weight and height for a comparison, the name of the doctor. I really had to dig for the information.
  • A handwritten message and an inspiratinal quote cut out from a used birthday card on page 3.
  • What we did to celebrate the birthday on page 4.

Making my own cards takes time and some effort. But I like to make each card unique and interesting.

Today I happened to read two interesting stories about birthday cards and would  like to share.

A Star Tribune article titled “Once a joke, boomerang birthday card now tradition” (June 4, 2011, available online for a limited time) tells the story of two sisters who have been sending the same birthday card back and forth since 1975. The same card has made 73 trips through the U.S. mail.

Why not? I am all for reuse and recycle. These two sisters are way ahead of the green living movement.

Suzanne Beecher shared in her Dear Reader column on May 31, 2011 (Yes, I am always days or even years behind in my reading) a unique birthday card “What I Know About Grandma” from her two grandchildren. I had a good laugh.

WHAT I KNOW ABOUT GRANDMA

What is your Grandma’s name?
Paul: Suzanne James: Grandma

How old is she?
Paul: I don’t know.
James: Three.

What does she do?
Paul: Grandma plays with me. And Grandma likes to do the sprinkler with me.
James: She goes like this…(and then he dances).

What’s her favorite food?
Paul: Soup James: Candy

What’s her favorite color?
Paul: Pink James: Purple

What’s her favorite movie?
Paul: “Dinosaur Train”
James: “Dora the Explorer”

What does she like to sing?
Paul: Classical James: ABCs

Where does she take you for fun?
Paul: Dr. Al. He pushes on Grandma back.
James: The circus.

What is the best thing about Grandma?
Paul: Grandma loves me and she bakes with me.
James: I love Grandma.

Won’t every grandma love to receive such a unique birthday card?

Posted in Living | 1 Comment

VBS options around Woodbury

Every year I compile a list of VBS offered by local churches that I am aware of, with registration and contact information, VBS date, theme, age and fee requirements.

Below is the 2011 list. I hope this list will make it easier for you to choose a VBS for your kids.

Please check the church websites or contact the churches for more information.

Christ Episcopal Church
7305 Afton Road, Woodbury, MN 55125
http://www.christchurch-woodbury.org
Register no later than Friday, July 1
651-735-8790
 
Monday – Thursday, July 18 – 21, 9:00 – 11:30 am
“Hometown Nazareth”
Family Night Potluck Picnic Thursday, July 21 from 5:30 - 7:30 p.m
Age 3 – 9
$30/child with a $75 cap per family

Grace of God Lutheran Church
420 Hayward Ave, Oakdale, MN 55128
Register online at www.graceofgodlutheran.com
651-730-4900 or email grace@graceofgodlutheran.com
 
Monday – Friday, July 11 – 15, 9:00 – 11:30 am
“Hometown Nazareth”
4 years – 6th grade
$15 per child (suggested donation)

Guardian Angels Catholic Church
8260 4th Street N, Oakdale, MN 55128  
http://www.guardian-angels.org/education/childrenyouth/vbs/
651-738-2223

Monday-Friday, July 25- 29, 9:00 -12:00
“Inside Out & Upside Down on Main Street”
Ages 4-12
$30

King of Kings Lutheran Church
1583 Radio Drive, Woodbury, MN 55125
http://www.kingofkingswoodburymn.org/children___youth_
Check the summer programs for more information about VBS and other camps http://o.b5z.net/i/u/6123671/f/2011campbrochure.pdf
Phone: 651-738-3110
Email: office@kingofkingswoodburymn.org
 
Vacation Bible School
Ages 3 (by 9-1-10) through completed 3rd grade
June 20-24
(Morning Session): 9:00-11:30 a.m.
(Afternoon Session) 1:00-3:30 p.m.
Cost: $30 per child (includes t-shirt and CD) 

Resurrection Lutheran Church
9925 Bailey Road, Woodbury MN 55129
651-730-1000
 
Monday – Thursday, June 20-23, 9:30-Noon
 “PandaMania – Where God is Wild About You!”
Age 3 – 4th grade (completed)
Family fun night  at 6:30 p.m. Thursday
$30 per child ($35 after May 31, maximum $75 per family)
 
Monday–Friday, July 11 -15, 9 – 12:00
“CampServe”
4th – 6th grade (completed)
$99.00
Further info at www.campserve.org
 
 
Saint Peter Lutheran Church
880 Neal Ave. S., Afton, MN 55001
http://www.stpeterafton.org
Contact Shannon Hecksel at shecksel@stpeterafton.org or 651-436-3357
 
Monday – Friday, June 20 – 24, 9:00 am – noon
“Big Jungle Adventure: a Faith Journey with Jesus”
Preschool – 4th grade
Free (lunch included)

Spirit of Life Bible Church
690 Commerce Drive, Woodbury, MN 55125
Register online at http://www.spiritoflifebiblechurch.org/VBS_6b97249b6493b74a.html
651-731-1900
 
Tuesday-Friday, July 26-29, 9:30 am – 12:30 pm
“Hometown Nazareth — Where Jesus Was a Kid”
Program and picnic @ Noon Friday, July 29
K – Grade 6 (grade child is entering in 2011-2012 school year) 
Free

Woodbury Baptist Church
6695 Upper Afton Road , Woodbury , MN 55125
http://www.woodburybaptist.org/
651-738-7700
 
Sunday-Thursday, Jul. 24-28, 5:30 pm – 8:00 pm
“PandaMania – Where God is Wild About You!”
Each evening will begin at 5:30 pm with a supper. 
Age 4 – 5th grade 
Free

Woodbury Church of Christ
4920 Woodbury Drive, Woodbury MN 55129
Register online at http://www.woodburychurch.org
651-459-1869
 
Monday-Friday, June 20-24, 9:00-12:00
“PandaMania – Where God is Wild About You!”
4 years – 6th grade
Free

Woodbury Community Church
2975 Pioneer Drive, Woodbury 55125
Register online at http://www.wccmn.org
Email: wccoffice@wccmn.org
Phone: 651/739-1427
Registration Deadline: June 20, 2011
Monday-Friday, June 20-24, 2011, 9:00-12:00
“PandaMania – Where God is Wild About You!”         
Preschool – 4th Grade
Free 

 Woodbury Lutheran Church
7380 Afton Road, Woodbury, MN 55125
Register online at http://www.woodburylutheran.org/ministries/childrenyouth/children/summer/
651-739-5144
 
Monday–Thursday, June 20-23
Choose between morning session 9:30 – 12:00 or afternoon session (12:30 – 3:00)
 “Big Jungle Adventure” (preschool)
For ages 3 – current Kindergarten (Must be 3 years old by 9/1/2010)
Free
 
Monday–Thursday, July 11 -14, 9:00 a.m. – 12:00
“SportsLife Camp” (elementary)
1st – 5th grade (completed June 2011)
$35.00 ($45.00 after June 1st)
 
Monday–Friday, Aug. 1 – 5, 10:00 am – 2:00 pm
“Art Camp” (elementary)
2nd – 5th grade (completed June 2011)
$15.00

Woodbury/Peaceful Grove United Methodist Church
7465 Steepleview Road, Woodbury, MN 55125
http://www.woodburyumc.org
Check out summer camps brochure online for info about other camps
http://www.wumc-pgumc.org/uploads/Summer_Camps_Booklet_2011.pdf
Contact Jan Slagter 651-738-0305 or jslagter@wumc-pgumc.org

Monday-Friday, June 20-24, 9:00 – Noon
“Shake It Up Cafe”   
Age 3 – 5th Grade
$50

Posted in Kids | Tagged | Leave a comment

The top 20 bad leadership traits

The leadership books I have read in the last couple of years mostly focus on the top leadership qualities or traits of great leaders. Some examples are:

  • Personal characters (honesty, integrity, trustworthy, humility, etc.)
  • Clear vision and purpose
  • Strategic thinking
  • Passion for what you do
  • Competence (intellectual and emotional)
  • Openness and risk-taking
  • Collaboration
  • Accountability, admitting mistakes and learning from them
  • Leading by example
  • Interpersonal and communication skills
  • Continued learning and growing
  • Inspiring and empowering
  • Hiring people who are competent

Lately I have been thinking about what makes bad leaders. Just as there are many qualities or traits that make good leaders, there are many qualities or traits that make bad leaders or bad managers.

Here is a list of the top 20 bad leadership traits I came up with. I welcome your additions and comments.

  • Having tunnel vision
  • Micromanaging
  • Being incompetent
  • Being rules oriented and not people oriented
  • Demanding perfection
  • Having Fear and doubts regarding employees’ competence
  • Having low self-esteem and confidence
  • Having emotional insecurity and immaturity
  • Making decisions based on emotions
  • Acting as a roadblock between upper managers and employees
  • Acting differently in front of their superiors and subordinates
  • Blaming others for failures and taking credit for successes
  • showing favoritism
  • Reacting negatively to criticism
  • Making assumptions without fact checking
  • Not willing or not able to change and adopt
  • Not willing to learn and grow
  • Not take no for an answer
  • Not listening
  • Not caring about how their actions impact others
Posted in Leadership, Personal development | Tagged | 4 Comments

MnDOT Commissioner’s Reading Corner

My article about MnDOT Commissioner’s Reading Corner (CRC) was published in the Spring 2011 issue of the Special Libraries Association/Minnesota Chapter’s newsletter and posted online.

This article provides some background info about the CRC. Most of my CRC book interview articles have been posted on this blog.

I have been working on this project since 2009. Doing book interviews has become the most interesting part of my job now.

Through my work on CRC and other projects, I got to meet Commissioner Sorel and know him a little bit. All I can say is he is a  great leader - trusting, inspiring and enpowering. He is the best leader I personally know.

Posted in Book, CRC book interview, Photos | Tagged | Leave a comment

Grateful for libraries

A few times a month I take my kids to the local public library to return/check out books. We have done so since they were toddlers. And they both got their own library cards before they could even read themselves.

I enjoy visiting library and I am excited when I find interesting books to read.

Going to library is fun and convenient. 

When I was living in Madison, Wis. and Oak Park, ILL., the local public libraries were within walking distance. I could walk to the libraries and I often did so.

Now living in Woodbury, a newer and suburban city, I can’t walk to the library any more, but it’s still very close. It takes about 5 minutes of driving.

I am so used to visiting libraries, using libraries and working in libraries that I don’t think much of it any more. In fact, I take libraries for granted.

But once in a while, something happens. It makes me pause for a moment and think about how great libraries are and how grateful I am for them.

Yesterday I had a phone conversation with a college classmate living in Beijing. I asked her if she uses public libraries in Beijing. She said no. She has to buy books for her children or borrow books from the library at the German school her kids go to.

I was surprised and wished her answer would be different.

China has changed so much in the last 20-30 years in transportation, infrastructure, education and society in general, but not much has changed in terms of public libraries and the use of public libraries. Libraries in China are not as accessible to the public as it is in the US.

Beijing, the capital of China, has a population of 22.5 million people. It has 24 public libraries including 4 children’s libraries. Among them, the Capital Library is the largest.

The National Library of China is also located in Beijing.

For comparison, let’s take a look at New York, the most populous city in the United States, with a population of 8.1 million in 2010.

New York Public Library is the largest public library in the US and consists of 87 libraries. 

So there are 87 public libraries in New York serving 8.1 million people and 25 public  libraries in Beijing serving 22.5 million people.

Remember Beijing is the capital of China and most likely has more libraries than any other cities in China.

No wonder public libraries are not so acceccible in China. My friend said it’s not worth to use the public library in Beijing. Considering the travel time and cost, it’s cheaper and much more convenient to buy books.

That’s why people in China generally buy their own books instead of borrowing books from the public libraries. Bookstores are very popular and busy. People sometimes stay in  bookstores for hours, not to buy books, but also to read books.

After my phone call with my friend, I felt really grateful for having easy access to public libraries in the US.

National Library of China 

Listing of Public Libraries in China


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A book inspired by the gardens of China

I came from China. My hometown Suzhou is a well known ancient city in China with a history of 2500 years. The city is renowned for its beautiful classical gardens, pagodas, stone bridges and rivers around the city. It is, therefore, a great tourist attraction. The city has been called the “Paradise on Earth” since ancient times and is also known as the “Venice of the East.”

From ancient times to the present, Suzhou gardens have inspired countless poets and writers to write their poems, articles and books. Their beauty and inspiration are timeless.

What a happy surprise for me to find out that someone from Woodbury who lived thousands of miles away from Suzhou, was so inspired by the Suzhou gardens during her first and only trip to Suzhou that she wrote a book on Fengshui titled “Trough the Moon Gate : Five-Element Perspectives on Environmental Energy : the C. L. E. A. R. approach to Fengshui inspired by the gardens of China.” The book was designed by Karen Hollingsworth with artwork by Jeannine Zumbach Ohora.

 

I first met Caroline Lehman through my column writing for Woodbury Bulletin. I got to know her more after she did a few brown bag presentations at Mn/DOT.

You can read a sample chapter of the book on Caroline Lehman’s website. 

To view some pictures of Suzhou gardens, visit my Facebook page where I posted the pictures I took from my last China trip in 2010 (Humble Administrator’s Garden
and Tiger Hill Garden) and also the following websites:

Posted in Book, China, Photos | 1 Comment

Feeling down and sad?

Some day when I am feeling down and sad, I try to look for things that are positive and lighten up my mood. If I stop and look, I do find them.

Yesterday I was feeling very down, as I look back, I see clearly several things happened that warmed my heart, brought smile to my face and really brought my mood up again.

The day before yesterday I sent a thank-you note to someone at work for a job well done and I cc’ed his big boss. He emailed me back yesterday to thank me for the nice note. A thank-you note always makes people happy.

I was able to go to a yoga class. I haven’t had time to do yoga lately. It made me feel good to stretch and relax my body and mind.

When I got home from work, my daughter said: “Mom, guess what I got for my MAP math test?” She got 264, a big 18 point jump from her last MAP test. I was happy for her and proud of her.

In the evening I got a phone call from an elderly lady in Woodbury. I recognized her voice. She used to read my columns in Woodbury Bulletin and love my articles. We had lunch together once. She said she meant to send me a Christmas card, but she had health issues and wasn’t able to. She has been thinking of me and missed my columns (I stopped writing for the paper two years ago). When her family got together lately, they still talked about my articles. She apologized for not sending me the Christmas card and for calling me, but I really appreciated her surprising phone call. I needed that encouragement.

Later in the evening I received an email from another former Woodbury Bulletin column  reader whom I got to know a little better and have had more contact. She asked me a Chinese related question. I did some research on the Internet and responded to her question. She is such a kind and gentle person with positive energy and a very appreciative attitude. I love helping her and being in contact with her.

I remember I once received the following message as a forward. It’s a good reminder that things happen for a reason.

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON…It is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a Godsend and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. Sometimes they die. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. Your need has been answered, and now it is time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON…It is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

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Walk around the capitol

Here are some photos I took while walking around the Minnesota State Capitol today. It was a gorgeous day with perfect weather for the annual walk.

Blue sky, just right temperature, greenery, blooming trees, monuments on the mall, walkers, kids on field trips, buses … everything looks beautiful.

When we look around and look up instead of always looking down, we will find that God’s beauty is all around us.

I posted about 70 photos on my Facebook


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My profile in MARC record

In my professional life as a librarian, I have cataloged thousands of items – books, journals, VHSs, CDs, DVDs, websites and Kindles - on all kinds of subjects.

Biographies? yes, but I have never cataloged a person directly.

Today I read about other librarians’ cataloging of weird things, a couple of them talking about cataloging babies and sending birth announcement on a library catalog card. I thought that was a very creative idea.  

Just for fun, I have created a catalog record for myself.

For people who are not familiar with cataloging and MARC (Machine Readable Cataloging Records) coding, this doesn’t make much sense. But Librarians will understand. 

Hope you get a laugh out of this.

100 0  God.

245 10 Qin Tang / created by God and produced by Faxin Tang and Xuezhen Bian.

246 13  Zhenfang Tang, 1964-1970

250    3rd ed.

260    Suzhou, Jiangsu Province, China : The Fourth People’s Hospital, 1964 at 12:55 a.m.–

300    1 child (7 pounds 4 oz) : black hair black eyes ; [18?] cm.

500    Includes body, mind and spirit.

500    Weight and height change over time.

500    Exact birth date not given for security reason.

500    Certain names changed for privacy concern.

500    Sequel to: Guangming Tang and Guangling Tang.

600 10 Tang, Qin, 1964-

600 30 Tang family.

655  4 Child of God.

655  4 Librarians.

655  4 Writers.
655  4 Bloggers.

655  4 Chinese Americans.  

700 1  Tang, Faxing, 1933-

700 1  Bian, Xuezhen, 1934-

700 1  Tang, Guangming, 1957-1958.

700 1 Tang, Guangling, 1961-

700 1  Tang, Andrew.

700 1  Tang, Amy.

785 01 Andy Tang.

785 01 Amy Tang.

856 4  http://onmymind.areavoices.com

 


Posted in Librarianship | 1 Comment

Natural lawn care service recommended

After several days of rain, the dandelions are popping up everywhere in our yard.
 
Personally, I don’t care if we have dandelions or not. It’s not important for me to have a perfect green, weed-free lawn. But when our yard is the only one in the neighborhood with the yellow flowers, it stands out. I think the yellow flowers look pretty, but I don’t think our neighbors will like that.
 
My husband got tired of taking care of the weed problem. This year he decided that he is done with it and we need to get someone else to do the job.
 
So I contacted a few companies to find one who will take over our lawn care/weed control job.
 
After some comparison shopping, we chose BioLawn in Oakdale, for two reasons – it’s natural lawn care and it’s a good deal.
 
If you are interested, check this company out.
BioLawn
575 Schommer Dr, Suite B
Hudson, WI 54016
Phone: 1.888.BIOLAWN (1.888.246.5296)
 
According to its website, BioLawn uses all natural and organic products whenever possible. I like that. I want to be as environmentally friendly as possible.
 
And I think I also got a good deal.
 
They offer the first treatment free, up to $69. During this week only, they offer $20 discount for customers if they are willing to start the lawn care program right away without waiting first for the onsite analysis because with the current higher demand, it will take a few days to do that and they don’t want to lose potential customers. And if you prepay for the season, you get 5% off as well.
 
Our yard is big, almost 12000 square feet. And our regular price per application is $82. Now after the discounts, we pay $243 for 4 treatments, better than the other offers I got.
  
From the phone contact I had so far with one of the owners and another person who handled the payment, I found them to be very nice.  I felt good about my choice.
 
At this time, I can’t say anything about their products and end results. But I am very hopeful.
 
If anyone has any negative experiences with BioLwan, please share in the comments.
 
In the past, when I recommend any local businesses (I did a couple of times) on this blog, I did so because I really liked their services. And I did not personally benefit from the recommendation in any way.
 
This time, there is an incentive for me to recommend and refer people to BioLawn. As I was told, they offer a referral reward. If any reader decides to use BioLawn, and tells them that I referred you, I get a referral reward. I just want to be honest and up front with you.
 
Please know that I won’t recomment the business and refer people to it if I don’t personally believe in its value and if I don’t think it’s a good deal.  
 
 
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Hot pot dinner

A friend called me Friday afternoon and asked: “Would you like to come to my house this evening and have hot pot dinner together? I just thought about this.”

That’s what we did. My family of four went over to her house after work and had hot pot dinner with her family. The kids played together while we adults sat and talked. 

Hot pot dinners are popular in China, especially in winter. It’s an easy way to get together with friends and have a meal together – no advance cooking is necessary. You only need to prepare some meat and vegetables.

My friend prepared some raw thin slices of beef, fish, shrimps, meatballs made with pork, shrimp and tofu, mushrooms, seaweeds, tofu, and bean thread noodles.

I brought some vegetables – squash, spinach, lettuce, Napa cabbage, Bok Choy and cilantro.

As the dipping sauce, we used soy sauce, sesame paste, chili oil and fermented bean curd.

My friend set two pots filled with boiling broth on the dinner table – one pot with spicy ingredients for adults and another one without for kids. 

With the hot pot, each person dips and cooks his own food in the hot pot briefly or picks whatever he wants from the pot.

Hot pot meals are easy, tasty and convenient. It’s a great way to get together with friends and enjoy a meal and conversation.

We thought it was just past 10 pm when we left my friend’s house, but her clock was running more than an hour behind. When we got home, it was almost midnight.

Time flies by so fast when you enjoy your time with friends.

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One-pot meals

Do you ever feel stressed out by the thought or question - ”What’s for dinner?”

What do you do if you have less than an hour to prepare a nutritious and home-cooked meal?

I have a solution for you – one-pot meals.

Lately I have been trying to simplify my family meals during the weekdays. Instead of cooking rice, 2-3 vegetables and a soup separately, then washing several pans and pots every evening, I just make one-pot meals. I cook everything in one pot.

I no longer stir fry vegetables separately every day, instead I add them in one pot along with some meat for the kids.The meat is usually already cooked ahead of time on the weekend. I cook a pot of rice once or twice a week. Basically what I need to do every day is just to wash and cut the vegetables and put everything in a pot. This way I can make a meal in half an hour. 

Cooking Chinese food can be messy for the kitchen. But making one-pot meals is no fuss and no mess.  Cleaning-up is relatively quick and easy. Now I have less plates, bowls, pans and pots to wash.

With my daughter doing swimming three evenings a week that starts before 6 pm, I have less than an hour to cook dinners. One-pot meals are a perfect solution for having a stress-free, home-made meal without spending too much time in the kitchen. They are not only easy, but also tasty.

The following pictures show several one-pot meals I made lately. Please don’t ask me for the recipes, because I don’t use any recipes and I don’t measure anything when I cook. I simply use whatever I have at hand. So I don’t cook the exact same meal twice. Either the ingredients will be different, or the taste will be different.

You can find a lot of one-pot recipes on the Internet if you need some ideas.

  Cauliflower, zucchini, eggs, meatballs, carrots

Tofu, broccoli, carrots, beans, chicken, black mushroom

Rice, potatoes, carrots, peas, corns, chicken

Vegetables and rice

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Being resourceful

Today while I was in the lady’s room washing my hands, a coworker made a comment after she noticed the way I did it.

“Thanks for reminding me not to waste water.” Then we got into a little conversation on ways to save water. 

Here is how I wash my hands, whether at home or at work – I lift up the handle to get my hands wet, push it down to stop the water and get soap to rub my hands, then turn on the water again to rinse my hands - I do it without thinking, because it is a habit.

I often remind my kids to not let the water running constantly while washing hands and brushing teeth.

I know not everyone appreciate the way I do things.  I have heard sarcastic comments such as: “How much water are you saving?” or “How much does the water cost?”

Yes, in the grand scale of the universe I am not saving much water, maybe just a drop of it. But in my mind, every drop counts, the oceans, the rivers and the lakes are made of little drops.

Yes, water doesn’t cost much, especially in the United States where natural resources are bountiful. I can certainly afford to pay for as much water as I would possibly use. But that’s not the whole point.

The point is, I do not want to waste resources unnecessarily. It doesn’t matter whether I can pay for it or not, whether I can make a big difference or not.

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